After my fork in the road post, I did some more soulsearching, some conversing and commiserating with good friends, and then had a long heart-to-heart with Beren. I believe that part of my problem is that I have allowed myself to slip back into doormat/housefrau mode, letting the passionate lively lioness step to the side once again. Not good. Old habits are hard to break, especially those which get us the results we think we want; in my case that would be adoration and attention. But one must be careful how we achieve those desires, and while I don't want to be the Evil Stepmother I am certainly not Cinderella! As I wrote my Minxy friend, I have been feeling like Rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately seeking a way out, when instead I should be lolling about enjoying my lovely castle. I have been in this frustrated, restless state before, I have escaped it's chains and I can do so again. While I still have no idea which way to turn, am still standing in the road shuffling my feet, I at least have a vision of where I want to end up, and that is a very good thing indeed.
So, I'm not sure if I'm feeling ineffective today, perhaps more so yesterday before I spent the time needed to figure some things out. Today I have a plan, a mission, am spreading out the map and planning my next step. I'm excited, and nervous, and a little bit scared, but whatever is "out there" is surely better than being trapped in the tower of frustration and anxiety. There are hidden treasures to be found, passions to unearth, roads to explore, but outside and within myself.
Here. I. Go. Wish me Luck!
July 24, 2007
Leo Daily Horoscope
Today may find you troubled that your efforts are not productive, leaving you feeling ineffective. You may experience a sense of being stuck in one place, with little hope of moving forward. This is likely a matter of timing and an opportunity for preparation rather than anything else, so don’t let yourself become discouraged. Just as time is needed after a seed is planted before it makes its appearance above the ground, sometimes our efforts need time and nurturing before they can blossom. In the meantime you can prepare in advance for the harvest, learning all you can and gathering tools to be ready when the time is right. Though it may feel as if there is no forward momentum today, it is merely an illusion to allow you needed time.
This may also be a chance to evaluate your work and the results so far. You may find that the same work in a different atmosphere created better results than your current situation. Such insight may offer you the opportunity to choose a place better suited to your temperament and personality. Maybe while waiting you can seek new situations or brainstorm for the ideal set of circumstances, thereby calling them into being. This may also be a time of rest and reflection to allow you to step back and see your journey from another perspective. Today by accepting this pause as a gift, you will be able to make the most of it and move forward when the time is right, armed with greater understanding.