Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Yesterday I went to see the Sex and the City movie. Having been a huge fan, this was a long-awaited moment for me and I had once anticipated seeing it with a group of my girlfriends, on the very day it opened. Like so many other women across America, we'd dress up, have a Cosmo or two, head to the theatre as a group of giddy middle-aged SATC-wanna-bes. However, when the day actually arrived the occasion was quite different. Instead, I took Bambi on her birthday, to a matinee, both of us dressed in t-shirts and jeans. I didn't even wear heels, Carrie would be appalled. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the experience; on the contrary, Bambi and I had a fabulous time sharing popcorn, laughter and tears. But..it was a far cry from the pictures below:
It was February 22, 2004. I was recently separated, had just reunited with Beren yet nothing official was happening as of yet. To celebrate the final episode of the show, I invited 4 of my close friends over for a little party. I filled treat bags with fun & sexy goodies, we drank and ate to our heart's content. We laughed and revealed secrets, had a fabulous just-us-girls evening, one I would never forget.
Now, I look back and realize how much my life has changed. Not just the divorce and blended family that comes along with, not just the job changes and lifestyle upheaval. But my girlfriends....of the four at my party I am painfully estranged from one, haven't spoken to another in several years. I remain close to the other two but due to circumstances beyond our control we don't spend nearly enough time together. An occasional lunch or quick cocktail hour is all we allow ourselves. It's not their faults, perhaps it's not mine..it just IS.
So when I viewed the movie yesterday, watched my favorite small-screen gals saunter and sway and laugh and love and drink on that big ol' screen, some of the tears I cried had nothing to do with the plot line. They were tears of sadness, of remorse, of loss..of longing for the times when my own girlfriends were a bigger part of my life, when we were closer and tighter, when we too shared secrets and tears and cosmos, comforted and celebrated each other on a regular basis. I miss that, I truly do. What can I do about it? Is there a way to recapture those friendships or can I build them again with new pals? I'm not sure, but it's definitely something worth pondering..perhaps over a crisp Cosmopolitan in a chilled glass....will that be for one or two?