Tuesday, July 22, 2008
La Loba at Peace
Though I can still hear the faint scratching and distant howls, I believe I've managed to escape the worst for now.
Combining advice from all of you along with my own instincts, I didn't completely succumb to the darkness; instead I spent the afternoon and evening with intentional self-nurturing. First, an afternoon float in the pool, allowed the hot sun and fresh air to work it's magic. Then, a nap with a sweet purring kitten. Got up and tidied my house while chatting with a good friend. Cleared the dining room table and set it. Lit fresh candles and turned on Andrea Bocelli. Loudly. Poured a glass of wine and prepared dinner. When Beren called to say he was on the way home, I popped dinner in the oven and took my wine outside to enjoy while waiting for him. We had dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, and then when he sat down to watch tv I unearthed my long-lost yarn basket and started crocheting an afghan. Beren was shocked, had never seen me crochet, LOL, but I realized that I can't simply sit and watch inane tv with him night after night, yet I don't want to leave him there alone either. Needlework is the perfect solution. I can do my thing while still being with him, and now & then I enjoy a minute or two of whatever he's watching. At 10 pm we turned off the tv and read for a while, then off to bed. Perfect. I went to sleep feeling relaxed and fulfilled having done the things that nourish me body & soul, and this morning I feel much more equipped to handle the day and whatever gets thrown at me. I'm up, bed made, curtains open, ready for work. As I type I'm listening to a stunning piece of opera recommended by a musical friend...achingly beautiful.
"Filling the well" is what several of my friends call it..you simply can't give to others if your own well is empty. I need to remember that, and take the time to care for myself so that I can continue to be there for others who need me right now.
Thank you, my friends, for being there for me, for "listening" and holding my hand as I struggle with the dark times. I am feeling quite blessed this morning, and the wolves are simply singing...