Thursday, September 18, 2008

Big Love

"The modern trend towards frequent divorce and remarriage is sometimes referred to by conservative Christians as 'serial polygamy'."

I've spent the past couple of weeks watching the entire first and second seasons of Big Love. I sat there hour after hour mesmerized, at times awed by the Hendrickson family, at times disgusted, but always intrigued. There is no way in hell I could practice polygamy, I'm much too jealous and possessive. I could never share my man with other women and children! *gasp!* But then I started thinking...don't I already?

Beren and me with Kali & Kevin

I mean, Beren and I have 3 marriages and 5 children between us. I have two exes, he has one. My first ex-husband has re-married to a woman who had a child from another relationship. My second was very briefly (thank the goddess) married as well. My own family of origin consists of my mother, stepfather who adopted me, and bio father who was married two more times, leaving me with a half brother and a stepmother. As a result of these unions we have a big ol' mix of family which is wonderful...but it's messy. At times very messy.

Kali & Kevin with her real dad and stepmom

I share Beren physically every other weekend with his two daughters. I share him financially with his ex wife so that she can provide for their children. He shares me physically and emotionally with my daughters and I share the financial support that I receive from my former spouse., we are not physically intimate with each other and don't live all together but otherwise, there's a whole lotta sharing going on!

Lily & Bambi with their dad, my 2nd husband

It just gives me pause, makes me realize just how complicated this whole divorce/remarriage thing can be, and times, especially on days like today when the stress level is high and my nerves are pushed to the limit, when I'm called upon to care for living things that are not technically mine, when I'm forced to handle the problems and attitudes of children I didn't raise and barely know..well, then I'm a bit resentful, a bit frustrated, and I thinking longingly of what life would be like if there was one husband, one wife, children between them, period. One traditional family filled with just enough Big Love to go around.


Deb said...

Hi. I always find your honesty refreshing. I have been married only once and we have four children and you know, I have had many days of frustration and mega stress. I know that probably doesn't help you but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone with these feelings. You are 'normal' ~ whatever that is :)
Tomorrow is Friday! Celebrate.

Rapunzel said...

Thank you, Deb, I know you're right. It just gets so...complicated...this way, you know?