Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Do You Believe in Miracles?
My mother called me at 8:30 Sunday morning. For the first time in over 5 months. Since before the cancer diagnosis, since before she became ill. With tears in her voice, she explained to me that she woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, and it was as if a light bulb went off. She woke up my dad and, crying, asked him where she'd been, when was the last time she has seen her daughter and grandchilddren...she couldn't remember anything, it was as if she had checked out of her life. She was shocked, angry, and ashamed of herself. Ashamed? Yes, ashamed she said, that she had let this happen, that she had spent months on the couch, disconnected from everything and everyone. It wasn't the illness she felt badly about, it was her reaction to it. I sat there listening, stunned, assuring her that it wasn't her fault, that it was ok...tears streaming down my face, not believing it was my mom on the phone, the mom who we all knew and loved, not the shell of a woman she'd been for so long. Over the past few days I've watched the transformation, incredulous and afraid to believe what is happening. She's animated, she's humorous, she's bright and cheerful, she's ALIVE! She's been a whirlwind, apparently making up for lost time, to the point where Dad had to step in and gently ask her to slow down, not overdo. She reconnected with her friends, made plans to get her nails done, got back on her computer and caught up with the hundreds of emails in her box, paid all of the bills, did her make-up, ordered some new scarfs...the list goes on & on! Most importantly: she is now determined to stop smoking. She filled the prescription for cessation medicine and will begin taking it this weekend.
My family and I are stunned yet grateful beyond belief. We have no idea why this has happened, even the nurses who did her lab work yesterday were amazed. We have an appointment with the oncologist on Monday, maybe he'll be able to give us some insight but you know what? I don't care the reason. I am just thrilled to have my Mom back, I had truly feared I'd lost her. No matter what the test results are, I know that we can fight this now because finally the most important person is on board her own recovery.
Thank you, to whomever...God, Goddess, Buddha, positive energy, good thoughts...whatever transpired to allow this miracle to take place, Thank you. So very much.