Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Hardest Part

photo courtesy of Kimagery


I woke up in the middle of the night to a txt message from Lily, "I miss her so much..I dreamed about her..." Me, too, sweetie, me too..

Six weeks after her death, I still cry nearly every day, still pick up the phone to call her...it's still so raw. The hardest part for me right now is selfish - I am missing her taking care of me, of things, of problems, in the only way a Mom can. I feel as if I'm walking a tightrope, precariously perched, with no safety net below me. She was always there with open arms to catch me if I fell. No matter how much I was hurt, she made it better, one way or another.

Who's going to catch me now?

6 comments:

YorkshireSop said...

I'll stretch out a safety net for you, sweetie. S xxx

Andrea said...

You'll catch you! Because your mom raised a competent and insightful daughter. I'm sorry you're grieving.

Rapunzel said...

My dear S, if only I could climb that net across the "pond" to you! Thank you...xoxox

Rapunzel said...

Andrea, a little voice in the back of my head whispers the same thing again & again.."YOU will catch you now, YOU will be ok.." I'm trying to believe that voice.

Cynthia said...

Yes, I join the choirs of support here. May you feel the comfort you need in all of your life. And gently become acclimated to a world without your mom. Try to feel her in nature...and share your thoughts with her. It will give you an ongoing sense of relationship with her. <3

Jen said...

*hug*