Friday, October 14, 2011

The Adventure Continues

It's been more than a month since I took a short leave from my job and headed north with Beren. My plans were to regroup, restore and explore, and so far I've done just that.

This has really been a mini-journey of self-discovery, or, more accurately, re-discovery. Rather than introducing new interests into my life, I have fired up some of the old passions that were lying dormant for some time. Books. Cooking. Crafts as well as The Craft. Nature. Films. Art. I've visited museums, book stores & libraries and spent a good amount of time with Mother Nature. I've donned my apron and practiced my kitchen witchery. I've connected with my partner on a level we haven't ever before, simply because we have the time & space to do so. I reconnected with an old friend with whom I was estranged for years. Some days I've done nothing other than putter around the house and rest.

Oh, and I also lost my job. For the first time in my life I am unemployed, and not by my own doing. Oh, I guess I knew this was possible, that perhaps my employer wouldn't continue to hold my position for so long, had tossed around the idea of quitting before they could fire me. But what I didn't expect was the way in which it was handled, nor how hurt & betrayed I would feel afterward. This, too shall pass, but it's only been a week since I received the news, and I'm still licking my wounds.

So, here's what I've learned so far: At the ripe old age of 47, I'm still just as creative, passionate and alive as I was in my 30's, just without all of the needy, insecure baggage that came with that age. I'm much more self-confident and self-assured, at peace with solitude but also relishing companionship. Of a practical nature, I'm still a good cook, crafter and homemaker. I'm a decent writer though nowhere near as good as I used to be, something I plan to practice a bit more. I am more flexible and resilient that I'd ever believed, adapting quite well to this "gypsy" lifestyle. I am not a good accountant, and have no desire to return to that line of work if I can help it. I am intolerant of unnecessary drama, have no time or space for it. I can spot phoniness a mile away and would rather be alone than settle for false friendship. Though I have some issues to work on in the physical realm, I am pretty comfortable in my skin and appreciate the body I've been given. Overall, I like myself, and love the people I've chosen to surround me. My life is good.

Looking forward to the continuing adventure, excited to see what happens next on this fabulous journey..hope you'll travel along with me..




Riotous Living said...

You are so wonderful and I'm so so so glad that you have had this opportunity to reconnect with YOURSELF. We all go through cycles of losing pieces of who we are. I can't wait to have a little more time to do the things that make me ME.

<3 <3 <3

kim said...

You go girl!

linda said...

life gets better as we age....we grow into ourselves and this post testifies to that....lovely lovely...and your truly are, my dear...loved reading where you are finding yourself these days. xoxox

Rapunzel said...

Thank you, ladies, you all are the BEST! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you for becoming the woman you were meant to be. As I turned 40 this year, I'm finding myself in similar places - especially with realizing the good in myself and also realizing that friendship isn't worth it if it isn't true. As far as craftiness - I'm teaching myself to knit. So far I'm being patient and I'm excited about that.