Grandpa Grumps

 

Today's Beema's Bedtime Story was Grandpa Grumps by Katrina Moore. The adorable illustrations and sweet tale of a granddaughter's attempt to connect, find common ground with her grandpa brought tears to my eyes, and allowed fond memories to surface. 

I, too, had a "grumpy grandpa," by all accounts, but he was kind and patient with me. His name was Russell, but everyone called him, "Shorty." When my grandma died, he came to live with us, splitting time between my family in Florida and my aunt's in Ohio. I was eight when he moved in, shy and uncertain of him, given his grumpy reputation! He was home during the day, though, and I was lonely, so while my parents worked, we hung out together. He'd take me to a local auto repair shop where he had friends who hung out, drank coffee and talked about..well, who knows. I didn't pay attention to the conversation; I was just happy to be out and about with him, tooling around in his little truck with the camper top. We found our common ground over fishing (well, I sat on the side of the canal and made bait from Wonder Bread) and our love of animals. He and I once rescued a tortoise from the middle of the road and named him "Charlie." (It turns out, Grandpa nicknamed everything, "Charlie.")  A lifetime gardener, he and grandma would show up for Florida visits with their trunk laden down with veggies for us. To this day, I've never eaten a better tomato! They never owned their own home, but even when residing in a tiny apartment over a strip mall, he somehow found a way to tend a garden. He'd make a deal with some friend or another to "borrow" a plot of land, am sure the landowner was repaid in warm-from-the-ground peppers, 'maters and cukes. Not willing to give that up even when he lived with us in Suburbia, he dug up a section of our yard and got to work. He let me plant flowers, and laughed uproariously when I poured an entire packet of seeds into one hole, resulting in the biggest marigold "bush" I've ever seen. 

We spent a summer fishing, watching tv together (Sanford & Sons was a favorite of his) in the little back bedroom next to mine, and generally getting to know each other. He wasn't a very chatty man, but he had strong opinions and wasn't afraid to share them when necessary. 

Grandpa & Mom

Aunt Katie, Grandpa, Me

He bought me this organ for Christmas, I drove my parents crazy playing it! 

The last time I saw my grandpa was Christmas of 1981 when I was 16 years old, his last trip to Florida before he was diagnosed with lung cancer. As a coal miner and longtime smoker, this didn't come as a surprise to us, but it was devastating nonetheless. Despite his short stature, he was strong, independent and feisty and didn't let anyone take care of him, refused to move in with my aunt even when his health was failing. She visited daily, though, and found him early one morning, having passed away peacefully in his sleep in his little trailer in the woods, surrounded by nature & the squirrel he trained to eat peanuts out of his hand (can you guess the squirrel's name?). 

I think of my grandparents often now that I myself am a grandma. Though we didn't get to visit as often as I'd like, my childhood is imprinted with loving memories of them. I'm grateful for those moments, and hope that my little ones will say the same of me one day. 

Rapunzel~

Change of Scenery

Where to begin? The beginning seems to be the most logical place, but where is that? How far back do I go? And how much do I have to unpack along the way? Too far, and too much..for now. So, I'll just tell a short story, a synopsis of the recent past..

We decided to spend some time in Gainesville, arrived nearly two weeks ago and will likely be here for at least two more weeks. We have been busy making the "Lemon House" more homey, building on the beautiful items Lily and C left us when they moved out. 

Since we will be here for a while, we brought the cats and they're having a great time exploring their new space!

This house is so lovely, has it's own unique details and charms different from Ormond Beach. I've been enjoying the process of settling in, arranging pillows and tossing blankets, hanging artwork and stocking the pantry. I've made several meals for Bambi and J, have loved setting a proper table and having family around it, and being "treated" at Bambi's house.

J and I have visited the library and gone shopping, she is the best helper/shopping companion ever! We've also explored her magical backyard, played with her kitty, did some coloring..and she and Captain had a rousing games of cards & Candy Land. 

We still have work to do, but it's shaping up nicely and we are feeling comfortable, finding a routine..enjoying a change of pace and scenery. 

Signing off from Gatorland,

Rapunzel

Book Review: Love is Powerful

 

Love Is Powerful by LeUyen Pham
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

WOW! Reading this book brought me right back to that day in January 2017, how all of we people, mostly women, came together to rally peacefully against hate, for love. I got teary-eyed and chills up my arms reading this story from a young girl's point of view, and loved reading it aloud to my grandchildren. Though they will never remember this particular moment in history, I am proud to say that I did my tiny part, that their mothers and aunts and friends and family did even more. That we did see results, and that we continue to stand up, to speak out, to fight back. This is such an important message to the next generations! Amazing book, one I will purchase and treasure as a reminder that Love is, indeed, Powerful.

View all my reviews

Grandma's Bedtime Stories: https://youtu.be/LXcMcMz2A0s

February

“The day and time itself: late afternoon in early February, 

was there a moment of the year better suited for despair?”

― Alice McDermott

Though I live in "The Sunshine State" where it's thought to be warm and bright all year long, I still have my dark days. When the skies are grey and the wind is blowing too hard to enjoy a nice beach walk, I find myself with a touch of seasonal depression, a longing to curl up inside and just rest. I usually try to fight the urge, guilting myself into doing something, anything, in order not to seem lazy. 

Lately, though, I've been ignoring that voice in my head that chastises and reprimands, instead allowing my body and mind to be still, to sit and just be. To winter, as I referenced in a prior post. 

A couple of weeks ago, Bambi and J came to visit and we had a Big Adventure! We colored our own kite, then set it out to sail on the shore. We had such a fun time, racing around, chasing the kite and each other, being free and silly and childlike. Just enjoying the day, making the most of the breeze (great for kite flying!) and the grey skies (no heat!). It was lovely, and I reminded myself to do more of that. 

A shawl for my bestie's birthday

Lilo assisting me with a blanket to benefit a charity

I've been reading a bit, and crocheting a lot. I've committed to several large projects over the remainder of winter into spring, and I've been enjoying the structure of deadlines and commitments, but very loose ones. 

I haven't walked much, but I did get out and greet the sunrise a couple days ago. It felt fantastic, and I know that it's better for my mind and body when I make movement a priority. 

I guess that's really all to say right now, find that I'm in a reflective, solitary "season" and am not going to push myself out of that. I'm taking care of my family, including the furry ones, and staying connected to my close friends. Otherwise, I'm just meandering around, gently inviting the Universe to show me what's next. Because we all know that nothing stays the same for long!

Rapunzel~

Word of the Year

Taken at Gainesville Nami Walk for Mental Health Awareness Festival 

As has been my tradition for years, I once again chose a word/phrase to focus on for the new year. Considering how much crafting I did last year, it's no surprise that this word came immediately to mind: 

MAKE

Yes, I mean it in the literal sense as in the making of my blankets and other cozy things, but also in a more abstract, spiritual way. 

Make...love. Make..amends. Make..friends. Make..peace. Make..meals. Make..a tidier home...Make time for reading..Make healthy choices..etc. etc. etc. 

This was my chosen word, but then, another kept coming up for me as well..

MORE

When I first watched the movie, One True Thing, and of course read the amazing novel upon which it was based, so many great moments jumped out at me, so many quotes, including this one: 

"Your father always says that, 'less is more,' to me, 'more is more." 

Being a Leo who has never achieved "minimalism," and struggles with "moderation," I can totally relate! So, I've decided that my phrase for 2023 will be:

MAKE MORE

Make more love..make more friends..make more peace..make more meals..make a more tidy home..make more time for reading...make more healthy choices..etc..etc..etc..

I love it, and have already started implementing some of it into my daily routine. Well, mostly the making of blankets, but I will be working on the rest, little by little. 

I'm still really easing into the year, haven't found the oomph to do very much. I haven't gotten back to my walking routine, but I'm giving myself a break, knowing that I've had these slumps before and I always work my way through them. I have been reading more, dedicating some of my early morning to my book instead of social media. I'm making more mindful choices in my day to day life, and that feels really good! 

One area that Beren and I have been working on is our tv screen time. Since he retired, we have spent too much time in front of the television, bingeing series after series, which is fine. We have a lot of "free" hours in the day, and as long as our family's needs are being met, I don't feel too guilty for vegging out on the couch, especially since I'm always crocheting as I watch. We usually chose quality shows, mostly British dramas & mysteries, but this year I'd like to focus on more movies. I adore films, have always said that I could literally go the theater every day, so why not create that experience at home? 

The thing I missed most during the pandemic..
I was thrilled when I could finally return to the theater! 

I have been logging our films on Letterboxd, and our tv series on TV Time (I'm sure I could combine the two but I like both platforms for different reasons). If you're a member of either of these, let me know so I can follow! 

Here are the movies we've watched in 2023, thirty-one so far! Some are oldies that we missed, or wanted to watch again, others are new to us. These include the films we see at the theater during our usual Tuesday matinee movie-and-a-coffee date!

I guess that's it for now. Today the "laundry fairies" need to work on Mount Washmore, I'm hoping they also pull the ironing board out and tackle a few of Beren's Hawaiian shirts. I have a phone chat date with a dear friend, and also should tidy up a bit around here. In the meantime, I hear my crochet hook calling..

Have a beautiful day! 

Rapunzel

Wintering

“Snow creates that quality of awe in the face of a power greater than ours. It epitomizes the aesthetic notion of the sublime, in which greatness and beauty couple to overcome you—

a small, frail human—entirely.”~ Katherine May, Wintering

While some members of my beautiful family are enjoying their first winter in Germany, sending gorgeous pics of snowflakes and bundled-up children playing outside, I'm doing my own kind of "wintering." All of the quotes in this post are from a book highly recommended by my friend, so while I wait for it to become available at the library, I'll read the bits I can find on Goodreads.  

January has been challenging, and not in the ways many people think. We here in Florida don't have traditional cold seasons. We don't shovel snow nor worry about our heating bill, and the only snowmen are the ones made of sand on the beach. 

“When I started feeling the drag of winter, I began to treat myself like a favoured child: with kindness and love. I assumed my needs were reasonable and that my feelings were signals of something important. I kept myself well fed and made sure I was getting enough sleep. I took myself for walks in the fresh air and spent time doing things that soothed me. I asked myself: What is this winter all about? I asked myself: What change is coming?”

The temps rarely dip into the 30s, and the skies are bright blue much of the time. And yet, I still find myself wanting to hibernate, to curl up with coffee and a blanket, light a fire and spend the day reading and crocheting on the couch with the cats. 

So, that's what I've been doing, yet I feel guilty for it, like I should be more productive. I should be tackling that "to do" list, Marie Kond-ing everything, organizing & purging as I see so many other folks doing. I should be back to my walking routine, get that meal plan implemented, set my New Years intentions and shed the ten pounds I have gained. 

And yet, I find myself immobilized. I make my way through the day doing the necessities, of course. No one is going hungry nor living in squalor. Our home (despite the still-unrepaired storm damage) is clean enough, tidy enough, but there are messes lurking behind doors and walls that until the aforementioned work is done, I really can't tackle. Since I am an all-or-nothing kind of person, I can't force myself to deal with an unrelated task, I just want to wait until everything is put back together and then I can dive into projects. That may be a while. 

“we are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.”

Alsoly, as my grandson says, I'm "wintering" in the physical way. The silver streaks are out and proud now, and when I pull my hair back I can no longer see the former color. I am getting a peek at how I'll look when this transition is complete, and so far, I like it. The color is pretty, and though I'm finding that some of my current wardrobe palette looks better (or worse) than before, I think the grey is mostly flattering. I appreciate the slow transition, no matter how strange it may look with these multi-toned tresses. The process is allowing me to come to terms with who I really am, no disguising the aging. It's shocking at times, but also comforting and affirming. "Oh, there you are, my friend! No need to cover up, you're beautiful! Why didn't you let the light shine through sooner?!"

Along with the hair dye, I've also released (thank you for the word, Kali) some other burdens, including the expectations (from myself and others) that I should look a certain way. Should behave a certain way because it's acceptable and expected of me. I stopped having my fingernails "done" months ago, no longer willing to sit in the salon and spend money so that my hands can look "fancier." With as much crafting as I do, and as little time as I spend in "society," it's simply not worth it to me anymore. My hands take a beating from the glue gun, the crochet hook, the sink of dishes, the chlorine and salt water...I am taking care of them as best I can with moisturizer and will probably get a manicure now & then, but the hours and dollars spent on gels are over. Done. I still get a pedicure every few months because I enjoy the experience and the end result, but the same isn't true for my fingers. My hands are hardworking. They can clean a home, create beautiful items that bring joy to others. They can dig holes for milkweed, build habitats, hold newly-born butterflies while they take their first flight. 

They can bake bread, turn pages in story-after-story I read to my grandchildren. Most importantly, they can hug and console and hold hands with those babies. They're doing their job, and I'm grateful to them. They don't need to be embellished any further. The sight and feel of June's hand in mine is quite enough. 

After an impulse moment of rejoining WW, I immediately felt buyers remorse and resentment. The same with the "food program" I followed to lose 25 pounds a couple years ago. I love the whole foods, completely agree that the way of eating is the healthiest and I still follow it..about 80% of the time. I have realized that I am simply not willing to live my whole life without a scone. Or a slice of my granddaughter's birthday cake. Or a bowl of pasta with homemade sauce. I am therefore releasing myself from that expectation. I like wearing Size 6 jeans, don't get me wrong, and hope that once I start walking again I'll fit into them more comfortably, but not if it means I return to the somewhat disordered thinking/eating that resulted in that smaller body. Life is simply too short for that. 

Just as with my hands, my body is doing an excellent job taking care of me and others. I'm not as thin nor fit as some, but I can walk 3 miles barefoot in the beach, chase June around the yard, keep up with her in Disney World. After all of the running, when we are both tired, I can provide a soft spot for her to rest. 

Though I'm no bikini model, my husband still thinks I'm beautiful. He still compliments me and shows his attraction to and appreciation of me, mind and body, in all of the ways I want and need. I hope that never ends, but I know that change is inevitable and eventually we will likely be unable to show our love in those same physical ways, but  if and when it does, it won't be due to the number on the scale, just the date on the calendar and the number of candles on our birthday cakes. 

So, I guess what I'm saying in this long ramble, is that winter is here, both the season of the earth as well as the season of my life. Along with all of the other stages & changes, I can either fight it tooth and nail or I can relax, lean into it, release the negative demands and embrace it for what it is. I'm not sure if I'd call it "aging gracefully," perhaps easing gratefully would be more like it. 

Blessings, 

Rapunzel

Wordless Wednesday