30 Days of Photos: Day 30

30 Days of Photos, Day 30: A picture of someone you miss




Rhiannon, whom I haven't seen in much too long..we are long overdue for some girlfriend time xoxox

Blessings,

Rapunzel~

Mixed Signals

Since Beren and I started going to the Ormond house at least every other weekend, we've naturally been spending less time with friends. With everyone's busy schedule, working and taking care of our families, there simply isn't much time to socialize. When we're up north we have tons of alone time, even with his children visiting, so when we get home we are rested, fulfilled and looking to hang out with those who we love & cherish. Family dinners become oh-so-important, as does hanging out with good friends. And yet..I've noticed something happening, more & more often. Our friends say they miss us, say they want to get together, yet it never seems to happen. I've had several occasions where they have actually made plans with us and yet canceled at the last minute because they're tired, etc. Now, I completely understand, these things happen! I myself have had to cancel on a social engagement recently due to a sick child, and though I felt badly we all understand that kids come first! But when these things happen repeatedly one must look at oneself and one's relationships and evaluate. These friends who "miss" us so much, don't you think they'd make an extra effort to get together? And how about the ones who find themselves right down the block from us and yet don't bother to call or txt to invite us to join them? Or how about the half-hearted, "give me a call and let me know when we can get together" which puts the ball back in my court, or does it? I'm thinking if you really want to see me you'd call and directly ask me, "Hey, Rapunzel, I'd really like to see you. How about lunch next Tuesday?" When this happens again & again what am I to think? Eventually I have to believe that their actions speak louder than words and for whatever reason they simply don't want to make the time for us in their lives. That's all well and good, I just wish they'd come out and say so because frankly I'm getting mixed signals, don't know where I stand and frankly I don't do well with that. I'm a Leo. Warm, loving & loyal to a fault but eventually even I get tired of putting effort into something and not getting anything back. It's exhausting. I'd rather people just call it like it is. "Listen, we care about you but we simply 1) don't have time for your friendship or 2) you're a crappy friend and I don't like you anymore or 3) don't need you anymore now that you're not fulfilling some purpose in my life." Whatever the truth is, I'd just like to know because I can handle any of those reasons. What I can't handle is the not knowing. What I can't stand is inauthenticity. I've lost several friendships over the past couple of years, for various reasons, and though it pained me greatly it was done cleanly and honestly.

I just wish these so-called friends would do the same. Find time for our relationship, explain to me why you can't and we'll redefine it, or let it go. Because this "I miss you badly but can't bother to call you" crap is making me nuts. Frankly, I'd rather be alone. And since my friends are one of the few things keeping me from moving north full time, I'd rather know if that's not an obstacle anymore.

Daily OM
The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Unsettled

Phases Of Appreciation ~ Leo Daily Horoscope

Unsettled feelings can plague you today, putting you in an uncomfortable and edgy frame of mind. This can be the result of your having had a recent disagreement with someone you care deeply about, or your unwillingness to give way in an interpersonal conflict with an acquaintance. Your brooding mood will likely have no effect on your situation, however, and the stress you feel can even interfere with your well-being today. Easing your anxiety can be as easy as reminding yourself that your relationships, whatever their nature, will likely change in many appreciable ways over the course of your life and that talking about differences is often the best way to resolve them.

When we recognize and accept that the love we feel for the special people in our lives will wax and wane as time goes by, we can weather challenging periods in our relationships without questioning the strength of the bonds that unite us. Our ability to maintain a positive attitude during periods of interpersonal conflict ensures that we do not feel unduly stressed or strained by the natural rigors that are a part of all emotional partnerships. Our readiness to approach such difficulties rationally instead of allowing our emotions to interfere with our judgment ensures that we, in partnership with the individuals most important to us, are capable of resolving our differences in a focused and effective fashion. When you act constructively instead of brooding in response to personal conflict today, it will no doubt be resolved more quickly and more easily than you might expect.


Last weekend I had an altercation with a very dear friend and it is indeed still haunting me this morning. It's a long story but basically what happened is that both of our emotions were running high due to some issues in our lives and as a result feelings got hurt, misunderstandings occurred and words were spoken that probably shouldn't have been. I tried to resolve the situation the next morning but failed. The ball is now in her court and I am not sure where to go from here.

Though I'm hurt and upset, I have also taken some time this past week to reflect on the nature of our friendship, reviewing how we met, the circumstances surrounding our connection, why and how we fit into each others lives. There has been some strain between us for a couple of months now which I've acknowledged to Beren but not to my friend herself. Perhaps this blow-up was a result of the ongoing, unresolved tension and it needed to be released?

I'm still pondering all of this but I am thinking that maybe we needed to redefine our relationship at this point. When we met our situations were different and I relied on her for certain things that are no longer relevant. I "needed" her at that time and now, though I love and want her in my life, there is no longer a need. This, of course, has changed the dynamics of the relationship, changing the balance of power, if you will. Now that she is no longer in that role, where does she fit in? Can we take the good parts of us and use them to build a different sort of friendship, one on a more even keel?

I hope so but am also willing to honor and accept the fact that we may no longer have the same "level" of connection that we once did and will need to figure out what that means and where to go from here. I just wish she'd call me so that we can talk, hate having unresolved issues, closure one way or another is so important to me.

No matter what, I still love her and will always cherish the times we had and her importance in my life and continue to hope that we can get beyond this to a stronger, better place in our relationship.