Today's Inspiration: Stepping Back From Anger

February 4, 2008
Stepping Back From Anger

When we find ourselves in an argument, we may feel like we are losing control of emotions that have taken on lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation. Once we can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, but may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction allows us to consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.

We can make an agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.

When we can be clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them clearly, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control or allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Arguing for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.


Today's Daily Om hits home on a couple of levels...last Monday I had an argument of sorts via e-mail, went on throughout the day with no resolution and not only ruined the day but perhaps ended a friendship as well. If nothing else, we are taking a much-needed time out. She and I have done this several times in the past few years, and each time I think it's over, the relationship is irreparable, but time heals and history is strong..we've been friends for 25 years, not easy to just walk away. I hated how angry I was, hated the whole situation, but I truly don't think there was another way to handle it. No amount of talking or discussion can cure the reason for our disagreement, I think that perhaps we have grown differently and no longer fit into each others lives or belief systems. Very sad, but I need to accept it and move on.



Secondly, my two youngest daughters had a nasty fight on Friday night which stretched throughout the weekend. It broke my heart to see them at odds and I truly didn't understand it. It is so hard for an only child such as myself to understand sibling dynamics, I just want to beg and plead and remind them of how lucky they are to have each other. There is nothing like a sister, no replacement for her. Anyway, I stayed out of it as best I could and they worked it out..I think. Like me, they communicate best through writing and I know that there were emails and live journal entries exchanged back & forth throughout the day but I am not privy to that information. All I know is that there is at least discussion happening, and a bit less tension coming from their end of the house. We are family, and no matter how much we may fight that doesn't change. We are forever connected, we don't let go, we don't give up on each other. Not ever.

I hope this week will be less dramatic, less anger-filled, more peaceful. Conflict is inevitable, of course, but I'm going to ask the Universe for a bit less of it in the coming days...thank you..

Weekly Weigh-In

I finally got to a WW meeting Sunday morning, didn't expect a loss since it's that time of the month and..well, we all know that means bloating and other miseries. I was surprised that I was down after all, only .6 pounds but that gave me a 5.2 total loss and got me my 5 lb star! *smile* Slowly but surely, I'll get there!

Here's a pic taken Saturday night, don't think the weight loss is showing yet, no one except me and possibly Beren has noticed.

A New Day

I've been taking some much-needed ME time this week, consciously relaxing, trying to get my nerves (and the subsequent tummy ache) under control. (Stress is so not a good thing!) Wednesday I went to the movies with Bambi, watched a wonderful movie called Juno, then yesterday after work I curled up on the couch and popped in another dvd - Waitress. What a fabulous flick! The cooking scenes were sooo sensual, ooh-la-la! They made me want to dash into the kitchen and whip up a pie! No time for that, though, as my Sweetie and I had other plans.

After enjoying a yummy dinner at one of the only  Italian restaurants I enjoy (yeah, I'm a food snob), Beren and I headed over to the west coast for a combination business/pleasure trip. The drive over was uneventful, got checked into our room by 10 pm at which point we opened a celebratory bottle of bubbly and had some cuddle time. This morning we sipped coffee and watched a gorgeous sunrise, appropriate as we feel that we have indeed started a new day, a new chapter in our lives together.

Today's plans are to work from the hotel room, hit the fitness center, then lunch in Naples before heading back home. In between I have a stack of books & magazines to dive into should I become bored.

Self-Indulgence is a wonderful thing, I intend to do much more of it in the future.

February 1, 2008
Indulge Yourself
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may feel a bit indulgent today and want to spend time enjoying yourself. Perhaps you feel the need for self-pampering and rejuvenation. You may also be attracted to the thought of indulging in sensuous pleasures. These desires could reveal a deeper need for a little tender loving care, especially if you've been feeling stressed or worn out lately. By setting aside time to honor yourself today, you can release stress and relax. You may want to make an appointment for a massage or spend time on a restorative physical activity like yoga. You could also focus on restoring your mind-set by spending time journaling and getting clear about your life. You may just want to rest by indulging in pleasant daydreaming.

Devoting loving attention to our own self-care can help recharge our batteries and restore our peace of mind. Many of us tend to believe that taking time to pamper ourselves is a selfish, frivolous activity. If we can learn to see our own self-care as part of being alive, we will begin to understand that taking time to pamper ourselves will prevent many problems. Not only will we feel more balanced and happy, but we will be better able to cope with stress. We become more productive in our work and more present in our relationships. Allowing yourself to indulge in restorative activities today will rejuvenate you and positively affect your life.

Hope & Optimism

More about growth & change..now that I've had some downtime and a good night's sleep I can focus on the positive changes just around the bend, and be grateful for them. I have such wonderful friends & family, an amazing support system through all of the ups & downs, I really am blessed! Thanks so much to all of you.

This evening while Beren visits his girls I am going to the movies with mine. What a treat, I never get to the theater, and especially not with my daughters! Unfortunately Lily has to work but I'm ever-so-grateful that Kali and Bambi can fit some Mom time in their really crazy schedules!

Like our friend Jr. says, "It's all good!"

January 30, 2008
Resources For Growth
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may feel hopeful and expectant about your future today. You could be focusing on the promise of future endeavors or thinking about the positive changes you want to make in your life. This feeling lends itself well to new beginnings, and you may want to spend some time alone formulating a plan to usher in the next exciting phase of your life. Whether you want to develop a better fitness regime or embark on a new career, simply channeling your energy to the formation of something better will get the process started in powerful ways today. Then, by keeping your optimism strong and vibrant, you will be able to begin taking the steps that will lead to the fulfillment of your dreams.

A hopeful, optimistic attitude is a powerful resource in our plans to build a better life. Though we can plan and prepare for the achievement of our goals, doing so without a strong sense of optimism will limit the amount of creative energy we generate. By choosing instead to combine a hopeful outlook, high expectations, and a solid plan, we give ourselves the ability to stay motivated and inspired. We can then be consistent in our efforts to form better life circumstances and keep looking forward to our next phase of growth. By channeling your optimistic mind-set through a comprehensive plan of action today, you will be tapping the natural resources within you and using them to build your best life.

Balance

Horoscope today is right on, am looking forward to a nice home-cooked meal and some quiet time with family tonight. I've been putting in a few more hours at work and while it takes away from home time, I love being busy and certainly could use the dollars right now! Besides, my workmates are so much fun, hardly seems like work some days. My house definitely needs some beautification, am still working on the outside landscaping but cash flow issues have put that on hold. Fortunately Josee will be here tomorrow to clean for me, I adore her!

The rest of the week will be busy but in a good way - lunch with my best friend today, are finally getting together to honor her early December birthday!

Thursday Beren and I head over to Naples for a business trip/celebration..big milestone(s) to celebrate...champagne and a romantic dinner will definitely be involved.

Friday I am volunteering with my wolves, can't wait for those wolfy kisses!

Saturday afternoon we're attending a retirement party for one of Beren's favorite bosses, then off to pick up his girls for the weekend! I'm hoping to hit a cool music fest late Saturday or Sunday, looks likes something even the kids would enjoy.

Then, Sunday is the Superbowl. Now, I am not a football fan, no doubt about it, but my boss has invited us to an awesome party at his clubhouse, great food & big screen tv, heated pool for those who'd like to take a break from the big game. I'm hoping that Kali & Kevin join us for that one.

Whew..guess that's about it for me..am heading off to work, need to bring home the bacon you know. (or, in my case, that would be vegetarian "sausage" patties, thank you)

January 29, 2008
Balancing Needs
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may find comfort in home or family matters today. Perhaps you feel the need to spend quality time with loved ones or beautify your home to so that it feels more comfortable. These feelings might trigger fond childhood memories for you. If you have other obligations today that require your attention away from home, you may want to try putting some of those tasks aside or taking less time to accomplish them so you can return home sooner. You also may want to connect with loved ones and revel in their support and affection. Remember that your home and the people that matter to you can be your greatest sources of comfort.

We can create a greater sense of balance in our lives by establishing an ongoing compromise between fulfilling our obligations and meeting our emotional needs. Though our responsibilities may occasionally seem like an intrusion upon our personal time, we do have the ability to make time for both. We may periodically need to rearrange our schedule or postpone what we need to take care of. With a little flexibility and determination, however, we can meet our objectives and needs so that we are fulfilled in all areas of our life. By making an effort to balance your activities today, you can take care of yourself while fulfilling your obligations.

Growing Pains and Just Where is that Damned Merry-go-Round?

Change..change...it's inevitable, right? I write about it all the time because I think I've had more than my share of it the past few years, am ready for life to settle down just a bit. (hear that, Universe?) Some days I wake up and just pray for things to stay status quo, let one day so by without drama or a problem that needs to be solved. I'm tired of the roller coaster, can I just ride the merry-go-round for a while?

Alas, more changes are on the way, some culminating this week. These are long-overdue events and I look forward to them but they are emotionally draining nonetheless. I'm excited about what the future holds, just need to push past the pain and onto the growth and happiness that will result in the end. Wish me luck.

January 28, 2008
Growing Pains
Difficult Times

It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Weekly Weigh-In

I missed my weigh-in last Friday so I found a meeting yesterday - I'm down 1 more pound. Whoo-hoo! Not as great as last week but that's to be expected, and again, if I continue to lose a pound a week I'll be very close to goal by Kali's wedding.

On My Hearth: Sauteed Shrimp and Roasted Vegetables

Sautéed Shrimp

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 10 min
Cooking Time: 5 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

This lemon-herb shrimp recipe is part of our Perfectly Simple series. Click here to view other recipes in this series.

Ingredients

* 2 tsp olive oil
* 1 pound shrimp, large, peeled and deveined
* 2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
* 1 tsp Spice Islands No Salt Lemon Herb Seasoning, or other brand
* 1/2 tsp table salt
* 1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
* 2 Tbsp parsley, fresh, chopped

Instructions

* Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add shrimp and sauté 1 minute. Add lemon juice, lemon herb seasoning, salt and pepper; stir to coat shrimp. Sauté until shrimp are bright pink and cooked through, about 3 minutes more.

* Remove from heat and stir in parsley. Yields about 3 ounces of shrimp per serving.

Notes

* Fresh lemon juice and dried herbs provide simple yet wonderful flavor for this easy sauté. Serve the shrimp over brown rice with a side of roasted vegetables for a complete, nutritious meal.


Roasted Vegetables

POINTS® Value: 0
Servings: 8
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 25 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

This foolproof vegetable recipe is part of our Perfectly Simple series. Click here to view other recipes in this series.

Ingredients

* 4 sprays olive oil cooking spray, divided
* 2 medium sweet red pepper(s), seeded and quartered
* 1 medium green pepper(s), seeded and quartered
* 1 medium summer squash, halved lengthwise
* 1 medium zucchini, halved lengthwise
* 1 cup red onion(s), sliced
* 12 oz canned artichoke hearts, without oil, drained
* 1 tsp dried thyme
* 1/2 tsp table salt
* 1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground

Instructions

* Preheat oven to 450ºF. Coat 2 large baking sheets with cooking spray.

* Arrange peppers, squash, zucchini, onion and artichokes on prepared baking sheets, flesh side up, and coat vegetables with cooking spray; sprinkle with thyme, salt and black pepper.

* Roast until vegetables are tender and golden brown, shaking pan once or twice during cooking, about 20 to 25 minutes. Chop vegetables into bite-size pieces and serve. Yields about 3/4 cup per serving.

Notes

* Serve these slightly sweet, delicious roasted vegetables with chicken, turkey, pork or seafood. Or chop them up and toss the vegetables into cooked pasta and rice dishes. They’re chockfull of fiber, vitamins, minerals and disease-fighting antioxidants.

Daily Om: Completion and the Road to New Beginnings

Without going into too much detail and betraying confidences, let me just say that someone near & dear to me had an important milestone yesterday. They were able to tie up some loose ends in their life and experience some closure, and as a result I'm able to do the same. Tonight I'll open a bottle of champagne, extend the New Years celebration even further, and make a toast to new beginnings. 2008 looks to be a fabulous year!

The Road To New Beginnings
Completion

Life is a collage of beginnings and endings that run together like still-wet paint. Yet before we can begin any new phase in life, we must sometimes first achieve closure to the current stage we are in. That's because many of life's experiences call for closure. Often, we cannot see the significance of an event or importance of a lesson until we have reached closure. Or, we may have completed a certain phase in life or path of learning and want to honor that ending. It is this sense of completion that frees us to open the door to new beginnings. Closure serves to tie up or sever loose ends, quiets the mind even when questions have been left unanswered, signifies the end of an experience, and acknowledges that a change has taken place.

The period of completion, rather than being just an act of finality, is also one of transition. When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to derive what lessons we can from an experience. Without closure, there is no resolution and we are left to grieve, relive old memories to the point of frustration, or remain forever connected to people from our past. A sense of completion regarding a situation may also result when we accept that we have done our best. If you can't officially achieve closure with someone, you can create completion by participating in a closure ritual. Write a farewell letter to that person and then burn your note during a ceremony. This ritual allows you to consciously honor and appreciate what has taken place between you and release the experience so you can move forward.

Closure can help you let go of feelings of anger or uncertainty regarding your past even as you honor your experience - whether good or bad - as a necessary step on your life's path. Closure allows you to emotionally lay to rest issues and feelings that may be weighing down your spirit. When you create closure, you affirm that you have done what was needed, are wiser because of your experience, and are ready for whatever life wants to bring you next.

Priceless

1 Short Starbucks Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte:
$3.00 and 1 WW Point

Armload of books to help me
survive the rest of football season:
$56.00

A long-overdue coffee break &
shopping spree with my Mom:
PRICELESS