Daily Om: Letting Go

I actually sought out this Daily Om today; I needed some inspiration regarding letting go, detachment. It's interesting that the original article was written 2 years ago almost to the day!

I've been in a quiet place the past couple of days, reflecting on some relationships in my life that are changing, some by my own decision and others against my wishes. I don't do well with change and yet it keeps on happening, doesn't it? Nothing stays the same, including friendship I guess.

One of my oldest friends is going through some tough times and is withdrawing into herself, something she does when she is overwhelmed and dealing with big stuff in life. I respect that and just let her know that I'll be waiting when she is ready to poke her head out of the cave.

One of my newest friends has asked for some "space," various reasons and though I was stung and surprised, I'm trying to be respectful of that as well.

And then there is a relationship with some extended family members that I am choosing to detach from. Not cut off, not sever, just pull back a bit. I've tried and tried to connect, grow closer and have been met with indifference. I've been hurt and disappointed and need to lick my wounds for a while.

I'm a bit confused by all of this, not sure why this is happening. It's hard for me to let go of relationships, even when I know inately that it's for the best, that it's necessary to grow and be happier. I'm a Leo, after all, and am known for loving/caring deeply and intensely, sometimes to my own demise. But I must do this, have to start protecting my heart just a little bit more, might need to learn detachment and perhaps even grow some thicker skin so that I don't find myself beaten and bruised quite so often. We'll see how that goes.

March 30, 2005
Being Truly Free
Letting Go

There is tremendous freedom in letting go. It is liberation to free ourselves of things that clutter our lives; too many possessions, useless emotions, unhealthy habits, old beliefs, even people that drain our energy. All of these things and more can weigh us down. Every once in awhile it's good to "clean out our closets" literally and figuratively.

Like pruning dead branches or like a snake shedding an old skin, we need to let go of the what no longer serves or what no longer fits, so that there is room for something new, alive, and what is needed at this time in our lives. Yet, we are a possessive society. We often hold on to things, feelings, and relationships out of habit or, many times, out of fear of being without. For so much of learning to let go is about learning to trust. We have to be able to trust that, indeed, new branches will grow, that there is a new skin under the old one. And yet, to the degree that we are willing to let go, we are able to receive. When we stop holding on and clinging to anything, we realize we have everything.

For in reality, we really own nothing. Certainly, we don't own people. Our spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, children are not really "ours." Even if we own the title to our house or car, such possessions can be gone in a moment, taken by a natural disaster, an accident, or financial circumstances. Native Americans could not grasp the European concept of "owning" land, anymore than one can own the sky. For everything belongs to the universe, as even we do. When we allow ourselves to rethink our sense of "ownership," it is easier to let go. We no longer need to feel burdened by the responsibility of having to hold on to something. Rethink the value of a prized book collection, a coveted job, and feelings for an old flame. Perhaps it isn't necessary to physically get rid of something, but letting go of the power that a person, ideology, or material object possesses is truly freeing.

Daily Om: Accepting Yourself

When I was younger, especially during my 20's and early 30's, I was very hard on myself, terribly judgmental and downright self-abusive. I berated myself for every real or imagined mistake and misdeed, lived in a constant state of worry and guilt. I'm not sure where that shifted - turning 40? Getting divorced? Finding Beren? Whatever the reason/cause, I am so much kinder to myself now. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still have moments of self-flagellation, still constantly struggle with low self-esteem and poor self-image. I am a perfectionist, it's part of my nature, and when I fail to be less-than-perfect (which is every day, of course) I am harder on myself than anyone else could be. But..still...the chronic guilt has faded. I don't obsess quite as much, don't tear myself down as often. I give myself a break, even encourage myself to be a "bad girl" now & then! Good & bad, yin & yang, dark & light, it's all part of me, of us as humans, and it does no good to tear those aspects apart. In fact, it does great harm.

So, nowadays I live & love the best I can. Always striving to be better, of course, but not at the expense of losing the very essence of Rapunzel, of who I am. You know what? I'm just fine how I am! In fact, some days I think I'm absolutely fabulous!


March 25, 2008
Accepting Yourself
A Dynamic Choice-Maker
There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions.

Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control us—you were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. This kind of discipline undermines a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. If you were raised this way, you may find yourself feeling shockwaves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now you don’t agree that it’s bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something of a straitjacket. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms.

You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.

On My Hearth: Reservations!

I'm tagging along on a little business trip with Beren tonight, heading just an hour or so north of the Castle. As you know, I love doing this because it gives me some forced relaxation time - I can read, play on the computer, etc. without piles of laundry and dirty dishes mocking me. It won't be a very long trip, though, as Beren has meetings all day tomorrow so there's really no need for me to hang around the area. Instead I'll get up at a normal time, have breakfast and then head home to work.

Still, a nice dinner out and some couple time in a hotel room is a very good thing indeed. *wink*

On My Hearth: Chicken with Tomatoes and Thyme

When I made the Rosemary Chicken a few days ago I bought the family pack of drumsticks since they were cheaper; I'll be using the rest of the package tonight for this dish. Since no one in my house likes capers I'm probably going to leave them out. I have everything else on hand so no need to run to the store and waste gas, yay!


Chicken with Tomatoes and Thyme

1 lemon
28-ounce can diced tomatoes 28-ounce can diced tomatoes
8 sprigs thyme
1 tablespoon capers
4 small chicken thighs
4 small chicken drumsticks
Kosher salt and pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 1-quart resealable plastic freezer bags

Freeze It:
Slice the lemon into rounds.

In a small bowl, combine the tomatoes and their liquid, lemon, thyme, and capers. Divide them among the 4 plastic freezer bags.

Season the chicken with 1 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Add 1 leg and 1 thigh to each bag.

Freeze, for up to 3 months, until ready to cook.

Cook It:
Heat oven to 400° F.

Remove the bags of chicken and tomatoes from the freezer (you'll need 1 bag of chicken and tomatoes for each serving). Empty the contents of each bag into a baking dish. Drizzle with the oil, using 1 1/2 teaspoons for each serving. (For 4 servings, use 2 tablespoons oil.)

Roast until the chicken is golden brown and cooked through, about 50 minutes.

Yield: Makes 4 servings

CALORIES 440 (57% from fat); FAT 28g (sat 6g); SUGAR 12g; PROTEIN 33g; CHOLESTEROL 141mg; SODIUM 688mg; FIBER 5g; CARBOHYDRATE 15g

Real Simple, MARCH 2008

Easter Weekend

We had such an amazing Easter weekend, the perfect balance of family, friends & fun! Since they are putting a new roof on the castle and the noise is deafening, we did our best to stay out as much as possible.  What a hardship, eh?

Friday night we went to Boston Johnny’s to see Sooner or Later, had a great time there with friends.

Saturday we did our haus frau chores and puttered around, cooked a nice dinner and relaxed until the evening when we joined tons of work friends to see one of the partners in his new band, Bonehed. We stopped for a nice greasy breakfast at Lester’s on the way home, the perfect hangover preventative!

Easter morning came much too early, but we managed to rouse ourselves out of bed in time to host brunch for the family and watch the kids open their Easter baskets. (yeah, even at 23, 18 and 16 the bunny still comes to visit them!) Unfortunately my Mom is sick with that nasty cold so she & Dad weren’t able to make it, wasn’t the same without them. Strider stopped by for a bit, though, so that was a nice surprise.

Sunday afternoon found us once again escaping the roofer noise (bless them for working on a holiday!), so we headed to a local charity benefit, were treated to new-to-us band, Trucker, what a great show! We met an especially lovely version of the Easter bunny whose basket was filled with... Jello shots!

Overall a fabulous weekend but I’d venture to say that next week will be a tiny bit quieter....well, maybe!

Sunday Funnies: Easter Bunny

Parmesan Pasta with Chicken and Rosemary

Parmesan Pasta with Chicken and Rosemary

12 ounces (3 cups) orecchiette pasta
1 3 1/2- to 4-pound rotisserie chicken
2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
3/4 cup grated Parmesan
Kosher salt and pepper

Cook the pasta according to the package directions.

Shred the chicken, using a fork or your fingers, while the pasta cooks. Discard the skin and bones.

Drain the pasta, reserving 1 1/4 cups of the water. Return the pasta to the pot.

Add the reserved pasta water, chicken, rosemary, 1/2 cup of the Parmesan, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper to the pot. Stir over medium-low heat until the sauce has thickened slightly, about 2 minutes.

Divide among individual bowls and sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan.

Tip: Using water reserved from the pasta pot is a classic cook's trick. Starchy and salted, it makes a light, flavorful sauce when tossed with cheese and herbs. It's also great for thinning pestos and marinaras.

Yield: Makes 4 servings

CALORIES 689 (24% from fat); FAT 18g (sat 7g); PROTEIN 65g; CHOLESTEROL 174mg; SODIUM 1355mg; FIBER 3g; CARBOHYDRATE 66g

Real Simple, APRIL 2008

On My Hearth: Three-Bean Chili with Spring Pesto

Three-Bean Chili with Spring Pesto

1 tablespoon plus 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 small yellow onion, chopped
2 carrots, diced
1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes, including liquid
Kosher salt and pepper
1 15.5-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
1 15.5-ounce can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 15.5-ounce can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
3 tablespoons pine nuts, chopped
1 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
Crusty bread (optional)

Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion and carrots and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes and their liquid, 2 cups water, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and bring to a boil. Add the chickpeas and beans and cook until heated through, about 3 minutes.

Combine the garlic, pine nuts, parsley, the remaining olive oil, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/8 teaspoon pepper in a small bowl.

Divide the chili among individual bowls and top with the pesto. Serve with the bread, if desired.

Shortcut: Instead of chopping the garlic, pine nuts, and parsley by hand, pulse them in a food processor before adding the oil.

Yield: Makes 4 servings

CALORIES 408 (49% from fat); FAT 22g (sat 3g); PROTEIN 11g; CHOLESTEROL 0mg; SODIUM 1384mg; FIBER 11g; CARBOHYDRATE 43g

Real Simple, APRIL 2008

Daily Om: Divorce With Grace

Very interesting Daily Om today as I filed for divorce on this date from my first husband, and then coincidentally married my second husband on this date, 20 years ago. Since it's the first day of spring/Ostara it seemed appropriate though accidental. Bittersweet time for me today.

March 20, 2008
A Life-Altering Decision
Divorce With Grace

Like the act of marriage that binds two people together, divorce is the result of a life-altering decision. It is the dissolving of a relationship that we believed would last our whole lives. We may not even be able to articulate how we got to this place, yet we may also feel we have no choice but to sever this tie. Whatever we feel, we need the support of the friends and family who will stand by us no matter what we decide. At some point, we may need to be challenged to look deeper inside ourselves as we make this very important decision, but what we need most of all is unconditional love and loyalty.

Divorce is a process that, once in motion, becomes difficult to stop, and this can be painful if we find ourselves having second thoughts. We may feel that we should do more to save the marriage, or we may wonder if there is something about ourselves that we could fix or change instead of going through with this painful separation. On the other hand, we may be seeing in hindsight that our marriage was truly only meant to last for a short time so that we could learn something we needed to know. Whatever the case, we need friends who will allow us to linger in confusion when we don’t have the answers and who will support us whether we find ways to reconcile and stay married or whether we walk away.

Of course, the most essential ally we have lives inside our hearts and speaks to us from within. We can trust this inner guide to help us choose people who will support us in kind and loving ways as we navigate the rough terrain of confusion and loss. Sometimes all we can do is look to the horizon, remembering that we will get through this time, and no matter what happens we will once again feel whole.

Ostara Blessings

Today Pagans celebrate Ostara, the Vernal Equinox. I'll be doing my own simple ritual here at home, then on Sunday we will celebrate Easter in the traditional way with baskets & colored eggs, etc.

Brightest Ostara blessings and Happy Easter to you all.

Thifty Thursday

In addition to last Saturday's thrift store finds, this week I saved money by:

*using coupons and buying on sale at the grocery store, total saved $69.95

*Since my girls have gotten older, I always include a dvd in their Easter basket in lieu of toys. This year the holiday snuck up on me and since they requested some obscure titles, I knew I wouldn't be able to find them all at my local stores. So, I went online and signed up for a free trial membership of Amazon Prime; this allowed me to enjoy 2-day shipping for free! My order arrived today, plenty of time to tuck them into baskets amidst the candy & eggs

*With Kali's wedding only 3 months away, it was now time to book the caterer and put down a deposit. Strider and I met with them on Wednesday, did a taste test and looked a lovely sideshow of past events they've catered. We are very happy with the company but the budget needed just a bit of tweaking and we spoke frankly with the owners about this. With making a few small changes to the menu we were able to take hundreds off the price, and then saved another 5% ($400!) by agreeing to pay cash. Wow! It's amazing what you can do if you're just honest and upfront, good businesses are willing to work with you to ensure a satisfied customer and a successful outcome.

*Sorely in need of a dental visit and long overdue for a cleaning, I reluctantly dug into my meager savings and made an appointment with a new dentist. Upon hearing that I have no dental insurance, the kind receptionist suggested that I check out this discount dental/vision program by Aetna.
I signed up immediately; for $130.00 a year it gives my whole family hefty discounts. I'm so glad I did when I got the bill for the dental work I need: $443.00. Without the discount plan? Nearly $900.00! I think I got my $130.00 worth, don't you?

*Beren and I found ourselves with a rare afternoon off together and were tempted to go out to a nice, but surely costly, lunch. Instead we ate some leftovers, poured a glass of wine and popped in a movie. Cheaper, healthier,better for our budget, and more romantic in the long run. *wink*

Leftover Rice Rice Pudding

Our family had take-out Chinese food the other night to celebrate Kevin's birthday and as usual we over-ordered and now have a ton of leftovers. Since I'm not eating any "white stuff" we have an abundance of rice in the fridge and I'm looking for frugal ways to use it up. A quick google search led me to this fabulous new-to-me blog called Slashfood and this tasty rice pudding! (It seems that Ms. Weston has the same problem with her Chinese take-out.) I myself won't be indulging but my kids will love it!

Leftover Rice Rice Pudding

2 cups leftover cooked white rice
3 cups milk (any kind)*
1/2 cup sugar
small pinch salt
1/2 cup raisins
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, optional
pinch nutmeg, optional

Combine cooked rice, milk, sugar and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat to a simmer and stir in the vanilla and raisins. Cook until just about all of the milk is absorbed (30-45 minutes, depending on how absorbent your rice is). Stir in cinnamon and/or nutmeg, if using.
Divide rice pudding into individual serving dishes serve warm or chilled.
Makes 4-6 servings.

*Note: Sometimes I add an extra 1/2 cup of milk, if the rice seems unusually firm or dry, to make it creamier. Feel free to add a bit extra if the pudding is not as creamy as you like it. You can use nonfat, lowfat, whole or soy milk in this recipe.

[Recipe by Nicole Weston]

Leo Daily Horoscope: Gratitude Shared

Funny how appropriate today's horoscope is since I did indeed wake up this morning feeling incredibly grateful for my life. I am overall in a really good place right now - financially, emotionally, physically. Though there are always improvements to be made I believe that I have finally gained what I've been longing for for years now: Stability. Not perfection, just a solid feeling of goodness.

My children are doing well: Bambi has a good job, earning good grades in school, has a nice circle of friends. Lily only has 8 more days of high school, is graduating early, ordered her cap & gown yesterday. She has a new job which she enjoys and she and her dad are currently hunting for a newer car to replace the lemon we bought after her accident. Kali is graduating from college in a month, and then she and Kevin will be getting married in June! I can't believe it, couldn't be prouder of her. As for my romantic relationship, we are grow closer every day and I truly believe that he his my soul mate. Not a day goes by that I don't learn something new about him, I go to sleep every night still in awe that he is lying beside me. We have good friends, a lot of fun times, aren't wealthy but have enough money in the bank to make ends meet..well, most months anyway. *smile* My parents are healthy & happy, join us for holidays and birthdays and are an active part of our lives.

You know, when I think back at all of the "bad things" that happened to me I can truly see that there was always something good to come out of them. If Beren and I hadn't broken up 25 years ago I never would've married Strider and had Kali; if I hadn't divorced him I never would've remarried and given birth to Lily and Bambi, would never have been as financially secure thanks to my ex-husband's hard work and good pension. If we hadn't divorced I wouldn't have reconnected with Beren and created this wonderful life together. Even my leg surgery/cancer scare 16 years ago gave me a new outlook & appreciation for life that I hold on to this day. My second divorce caused me to stretch myself and grow in ways I never thought possible, and the need for more money sent me to my wonderful job where I've met so many new friends.

I know that it won't be long before some crisis or another threatens to shake my feeling of well-being so I am going to cherish this moment right here, snuggle down in the blanket of peace & contentment. If I hold on very tight and tuck away this feeling deep into myself perhaps I can remember it for those times when life is not so rosy..I can recall it and realize that this, too, shall pass and that overall, in the big picture, everything is absolutely fine and as it should be, that I am a very fortunate woman indeed.

March 18, 2008
Gratitude Shared
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may come to realize today that fortune has been on your side throughout your life. As you gaze about you at the individual empire you have built, you will likely feel the weight of your own abundance settle on your shoulders. If you can disregard thoughts of the hypothetical catastrophes that may befall you in the future, you can feel real gratitude where your prosperity is concerned. You may be inspired to not only thank the universe but also those individuals who supported you while your current quest for satisfaction was in its infancy. Today can be a wonderful time to share your literal and figurative wealth with those who have not enjoyed the same opportunities and advantages.

When we understand the extent of, and are truly grateful for, the blessings we have received, we naturally feel inspired to do what we can to ensure that others can enjoy the same advantages that allowed us to prosper. Those people who feel disadvantaged have little impetus to share their abundance, as they are afraid to lose what they have acquired over time. We lose this reticence when we are secure in our prosperity, thankful for what we have achieved yet certain that there is more to come. Often, it is the appreciation for the help we have been given that inspires us to spread our life’s richness among those in need. As you come to appreciate the overwhelming fullness of your life today, you will learn the true value of wealth and spiritual plenty.

Bread is the Devil Part 2

I was talking to Kali about my "bread is the devil" mantra so she surprised me with this fabulous graphic, just had to share! I have such a talented daughter! I'm going to print this out and put it on my pantry at home as a reminder to stay away from the white stuff! Any of you low/no-carbers out there, feel free to do the same. *smile*

Breakdown

Today's Daily Om really hit home with me today as I had just this experience yesterday. I've been fighting this cold for two weeks now, trying to muddle through life as best I can without letting it get me down, but at this point I'm worn out. Not sick enough to be bedridden but not well enough to function at my normal capacity.

We had a busy weekend planned: Friday night out to dinner and visiting friends, Saturday picking up Beren's girls an hour away, lunch with them, then heading to a little camping expedition (more about that later) at a nearby park. Sunday we puttered around the house and prepared for Kevin's belated birthday celebration here. I tried to get my herb garden cleared out for re-planting, got about halfway through and was just overcome by the heat. Hard to believe since it's only March but the temp was truly unbearable, especially since I'm still snotty and headachy from this cold. So, I gave up, sat on the patio with Beren and had a nice cold beer..grin...and felt completely overwhelmed and stressed. My garden was a mess, my house was a mess, dust bunnies everywhere, cat fur tumbleweeding down the hallway, laundry piled up, Kevin's cake unfrosted...and yeah, there were a few emotional issues I wasn't making time to deal with, just shoving them under the rug and hoping they would go away. With all of this going on, I was quickly headed toward a little breakdown. That's when Kali arrived at the door, having the exact same situation at her house! She came to ours to retreat from what she called the "pockets of messes" at home, totally overwhelmed with attempting to finish her thesis, do some wedding planning, etc. all while trying to ignore the clutter that she had no time to deal with. She joined us on the back patio and we tried to explain to Beren just what we were feeling, how frustrating it can be when you look around and not one single thing is in order in your house.

So, we sat there for a bit, commiserating with each other, and then we did what it takes to feel better: Kali found a clean spot in the dining room and worked on her wedding invitations. As an artist I think that she decompresses by doing something creative. I found a few quiet moments in my bedroom, breathed deep and tried to relax, then I started cleaning. Within an hour the floors were vacuumed and mopped, other living areas tidied and decluttered, kitchen cleaned and cake decorated. Then I was ok. Emotions in check, feeling much more in control, ready for the guests to come and honor my future-son-in-law on his special day. Before bed I sat down with Beren and discussed what was bothering me (which had nothing to do with him, by the way) and was able to go to sleep with an uncluttered mind as well as castle. It was very freeing, and much better than swirling around in chaos.

So, I know that Kali & I both have OCD tendencies but I wonder if other "normal" women don't feel this way as well? I truly think it's a woman thing - if our homes are in order we can handle most everything else but chaos in the house combined with chaos elsewhere is a recipe for disaster and a most certain breakdown of emotions.
Thoughts?



March 17, 2008
Tending The Emotions
Having A Breakdown

Most of us have had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a certain period of time, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We may feel like we do not know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long period of time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the midst of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can not access such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

Sunday Funnies: For the Cat Lovers

These were posted over at Sisters of the Dark Moon, so hysterical I just had to share!

The Green Stuff

With St Patrick's Day right around the corner I find myself focusing on the green stuff, and I don't mean just cabbage and colored beer. Since it's also tax season and I work for an accountant, my mind is also on money. I am constantly running numbers through my head, my own finances as well as our clients'. I've always been careful with cash but am not a tightwad, think I know when to pinch a penny and when to indulge. I tend to cut corners on things that don't matter to me such as clothing (I don't care what label is on my jeans) but am more than willing to pay a cleaning lady twice a month to keep the castle in good shape. I've found some really good blogs & websites to assist & inspire me and really consider frugal living a hobby as well as a way of life. I could do much better, however, and in fact have made that a goal of mine for 2008.

Fortunately Beren and I have the same philosophy; I clip coupons, shop sales and discount stores, he loves to hear how much I saved on our grocery bill. We have a budget and do our best to stick to it, record nearly every dollar we spend in Quickbooks. We both adore thrift stores and rarely visit a new town without doing some junkin'. That's what we're headed out to do today as a matter of fact. I'll let you know what treasures we find!



P.S. We found a few goodies today: some really pretty cobalt blue salad plates, two pieces of vintage Pyrex casseroles which I use constantly and am always searching for, and a traveling bar which we're going to fill with a few bottles and gift to Kali and Kevin for their honeymoon. Shhh..don't tell them!

Happiness Is...

*a Friday morning all to myself even though I did have to run errands.

*picking up some gorgeous herbs on sale, can't wait to plant them in my garden this weekend!

*indulging in a fabulous fancy coffee at my favorite shop

*finding some really cute Easter decorations on the Dollar Aisle at Target, will start decorating right after St Pat's Day



*a batch of Martha's Chocolate Chip cookies in the oven, a treat for my girlies. I wish this cold would go away so I could smell them!

On My Hearth: Rosemary Chicken & Vegetables

Rosemary Chicken and Vegetables

COOKING TIME:
Active Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

INGREDIENTS:

8 small chicken drumsticks (about 1 3/4 lb)
4 large red potatoes, each cut in 8 wedges, wedges halved
2 large peppers, cut in 3/4-in. wedges
1 large red onion, cut in 1/2-in.-thick slices
2 Tbsp olive oil
3 Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary
2 Tbsp chopped garlic
1/2 tsp each salt and pepper
1/4 cup pitted Kalamata olives, cut in half

Serve with: balsamic vinegar
PREPARATION

1. Heat oven to 500°F. Position racks to divide oven in thirds. You'll need 2 rimmed baking sheets lined with nonstick foil.

2. Distribute drumsticks, potatoes, peppers and onion evenly between pans. Drizzle with oil; sprinkle with rosemary, garlic, salt and pepper. Toss to turn and coat.

3. Roast pans 15 minutes; remove from oven. Gently toss mixtures on pans, return to oven and roast 15 minutes longer, or until chicken is cooked through and vegetables are tender.

4. Arrange on serving platter; sprinkle with olives. Serve drizzled with vinegar. (To reduce fat and cholesterol, remove skin from chicken before eating.)

From Woman's Day April 1, 2008

On My Hearth: Baked Tilapia

Tonight I'm making another tasty recipe from Family Circle magazine. This is a reader recipe, submitted by Libby Hilsenrath of Chatham, NJ.

Baked Tilapia

Makes: 4 servings
Prep: 5 minutes
Bake: at 425 degree F for 15 minutes

Ingredients

* 18 Ritz crackers
* 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
* 3 tablespoons olive oil
* 3/4 teaspoon dried basil
* 4 tilapia fillets, about 1-1/2 pounds total
* 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
* Lemon wedges, optional
* Jarred tartar sauce, optional

Directions

1. Heat oven to 425 degree F. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Crush crackers in a plastic bag. Add cheese, oil and basil. Shake to combine.

3. Place tilapia on prepared baking sheet. Brush top side of each piece with about
1/2 tablespoon of the mustard and season with the salt and pepper. Press the cracker mixture onto the mustard-coated side of the fillets.

4. Bake at 425 degree F for 15 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve with lemon wedges and tartar sauce, if desired.

Bread is the Devil

According to the scale this morning, I am down another pound, making my total weight loss 8.2 pounds so far. Not a ton of weight over 2 months but slower is better I'm told.

The biggest reason I am losing again after a short plateau is painful to admit: I have broken up with bread. And pasta. And chips, pretzels and any other "dry carb" with the exception of 94% fat-free popcorn in moderation. As much as I love those things and should be able to have them on WW and still lose weight, I can't. They trigger me to eat more and truly seem to metabolize differently in my system. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not on a low-carb diet, am just following Weight Watcher's CORE which encourages healthy amounts of the right carbs. Bread is not one of those.



I learned this lesson once before, 5 years ago when I dropped 20+ pounds, wish I'd stuck to it and not allowed the evil back into my life! Hopefully this time I can stick to my guns and resist the temptation for good.

On My Hearth: Easy as Tortilla Pie

I made a version of this a few years ago and it became a huge hit with the kids; Kali & Kevin now prepare it in their own kitchen on a regular basis. Even with the "slimmed down" adjustments it's a bit too high in calories for me but the family will enjoy it while I have some more soup in an attempt to shake this nasty cold! *sniff*

Easy as Tortilla Pie

From Good Housekeeping

We've slimmed down this Tex-Mex favorite by using reduced-fat shredded cheese and by packing the filling with low-cal corn and black beans.

INGREDIENTS
1 cup frozen corn kernels
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 1/2 cups salsa
1 can (15- to 19-ounce) low-sodium black beans, rinsed and drained
4 burrito-size flour tortillas (96% fat-free)
1 package (8-ounce) reduced-fat (2%) shredded Mexican cheese blend
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Spray large cookie sheet with cooking spray.
2. Spray 12-inch nonstick skillet with cooking spray; place over medium heat. Add frozen corn, green onions, and cumin; cook 3 minutes or until corn thaws. Remove skillet from heat; stir in salsa and beans.
3. Place 1 tortilla on cookie sheet; top with 1 cup bean mixture and 1/2 cup cheese. Repeat, starting with tortilla, to make 2 more layers. Top with remaining tortilla and cheese.
4. Bake pie 10 minutes or until heated through. Carefully transfer pie to cutting board; sprinkle with chopped cilantro. With sharp knife, cut into wedges to serve.

Serves 4

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION (per serving)
Calories 440
Total Fat 13g
Saturated Fat 6g
Cholesterol 41mg
Sodium 1105mg
Total Carbohydrate 58g
Dietary Fiber 21g
Sugars --
Protein 26g
Calcium --

Wolfie Weekend

Despite the nasty cold that refuses to leave my system, I forced myself out a bit this weekend in the name of wolfy fun.

Friday night Beren and I went to a new-to-us bar to see Grey Wolf, so glad that we made the effort as I so love this band! What a wonderful mix of music, from Elvis (my fave) to Jimmy Buffet..wow! They are definitely on my must-see Myspace calendar from now on.

Saturday my Sweetie drove me all the way to Naples for the Sacred Wolf event..sigh..though I didn't get nearly enough interaction with my wolves (plan for that later) as I needed, it was an amazing experience. I was able to sit next to my soul mate, holding his hand as we were led through a beautiful guided meditation..walked through the woods holding tiki torches, shivering slightly thanks to the unexpected cold front...warmed ourselves in front of a raging fire around a sacred circle that is apparently the focus of many pagan gatherings..drums thumping in the background..ah....just a lovely, dreamy, spirit-filled night.

Thank you, Beren, for making the drive, and for sharing the experience with me, for loving and supporting all the wild & wacky parts of me, for having fun in the most unexpected of ways! The fact that it was an anniversary-of-sorts for us..well, that makes it even more magical.

P.S. edited to add, Beren and I headed over to a local outdoor bar for the afternoon to hang with friends and listen to a band, walked up to the bar to find a huge wolf dog sitting there with his owner! Coincidence? A perfect ending to my lupus-themed weekend!

Peep Show

I'm not sure if Good Housekeeping airbrushes their models..grin...but there are some really cute Easter/Spring ideas in this month's issue.

These table decorations will be just perfect for our traditional Easter brunch!

On My Hearth: Roasted Sausages, Peppers and Potatoes

I'll be using turkey sausage for this dish to make it a bit more healthful.

Roasted Sausages, Peppers and Potatoes

COOKING TIME:
Active Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 25 minutes

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb Italian sausages
2 bell peppers, cut in 1-in. strips
1 bag (20 oz) red potato wedges
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp chopped garlic
1/4 tsp each salt and pepper
1/3 cup pitted Kalamata olives

Garnish: chopped parsley
PREPARATION

1. Position racks to divide oven into thirds. Heat oven to 500ºF. You’ll need 2 large rimmed baking sheets lined with foil (for easy cleanup).

2. Divide sausages, peppers and potatoes between pans; toss with oil, garlic, salt and pepper.

3. Roast 10 minutes. Toss; switch position of pans. Roast 10 more minutes until sausages are cooked.

4. Cut sausages into slices; toss with potatoes, peppers and olives. Sprinkle with parsley.

From Woman's Day April 1, 2008

Cloth vs Paper?

photo by Cotton Coulson

With Earth Day right around the corner I thought I'd share some green-living articles & tips that have impacted me. This first article from Care 2 debates the paper towel/napkin vs cloth issue. Here in the Castle we use mostly cloth napkins and dish towels/rags, rely on paper only when necessary and when more sanitary. (Pet "messes" come to mind). I buy the napkins at thrift stores so I have a nice array of styles & colors, keep them in a wicker basket on the kitchen counter right next to the dishes.
Cloth is so much nicer, makes even a simple meal seem more special!

How about you all?

Paper Towels and Napkins vs. Cloth


By Melissa Breyer, Senior Producer, Care2 Green Living

Have you ever wondered whether dishtowels are better for the environment than paper towels, or if cloth napkins are greener than paper napkins? Some argue that the energy used to make and repeatedly wash a dishtowel may exceed that used for the manufacture of a paper towel, and many argue the other way around. In the battle of paper towels and napkins versus cloth, here are the green, greener, and greenest options.

SIMPLE SOLUTION: I didn't always use paper towels, in fact for years I shunned them as a waste of natural resources as well as money. But then came the three dogs and two kids, and I suddenly couldn't live without a roll on the counter. Although I use unbleached, 100 percent recycled paper towels and I supplement with cloth napkins and dishtowels, it still seems like such a guilty convenience. I think I'm going to have to take Annie's lead here and transition to cloth, full time. You should see her giant kitchen drawer filled with cloth napkins—it is such a simple pleasure and so kind to the trees. But in the meantime, my curiosity inspired some investigation of the issue, and this is what I found.

So Not-Green, At All! Paper—Virgin Fiber, Chlorine Bleached
Virgin fiber is that which comes straight from a tree. Doesn't it seem a waste to use a tree for a single-use item? Well how's this: If every household in the United States replaced one roll of virgin-fiber paper towels with 100 percent recycled paper towels, we could save 1.4 million trees. If every household in the United States replaced just one package of virgin fiber napkins with 100 percent recycled ones, we could save 1 million trees. With those numbers in mind, using virgin fiber for single use items seems simply outrageous.

Next up, bleach. Gleaming, bright white paper towels and napkins don't get that way naturally. There are several methods of bleaching paper products, some far better than others. The one to avoid is Elemental Chlorine (chlorine gas). This is the worst of the bunch, and is responsible for the release of chlorinated compounds like dioxins and furans, which are powerful carcinogens and mutagens. These chemicals can adversely affect immune systems and reproductive systems and are dreadful for aquatic life and wildlife. Bad, bad, bad. Elemental Chlorine Free (ECF) process may be okay—this method employs a chlorine derivative such as chlorine dioxide rather than chlorine gas, and is not the best choice, but is a cleaner process than the use of elemental chlorine.

Greenish: Paper—Partially Recycled, Alternative Bleaching
If you can't find paper products that are made of 100 percent recycled paper, look for ones with at least some recycled content. Also, steer away from products bleached with elemental chlorine and instead chose ones that use alternative bleaching. Process Chlorine Free (PCF) is a great choice, this process does not use not bleach with chlorine or its derivatives. Totally Chlorine Free (TCF) is the best choice—this is pulp that has never been bleached with chlorine or its derivatives.

Green: Paper—Totally Chlorine Free, 100 Percent Recycled
There are two types of materials used in recycled paper products: Post-consumer fiber and recovered fiber. Post-consumer fibers come from paper that has already been used by the consumer and sent to recycling. Recovered fiber is from paper waste leftover in manufacturing, such as trim, scraps, unused stock. When you are buying recycled paper products, strive for 100 percent recycled paper with a minimum of 90 percent post-consumer materials. The higher the post-consumer percentage, the more paper is being saved from hitting the landfill. Also look for Totally Chlorine Free (TCF) paper towels and napkins—these are brown, and a very pretty brown at that.

Greener: Cloth—Cotton
If you are hugely careless in your treatment of cloth napkins and dishtowels (like running a load of hot-water wash for a few barely-soiled napkins), paper can be the more eco-friendly option. But if you approach your cloth towels and napkins conscientiously, cloth is the greener option. Some say that washing cloth must be more energy-intensive than using paper, but electric dryers are actually twice as energy efficient as the manufacture of paper towels. When you factor in all of the components of making a paper towel or napkins (harvesting the material, processing and bleaching it, packaging it, shipping it, stocking it at a supermarket, transportation to and from the store to purchase it, etc). all for a single use, you find that the paper towels and napkins are about twice as energy-intensive and create more greenhouse gases overall. A cloth napkin or dishtowel may go through similar processes to get to your kitchen drawer, but it will stay there for many, many years, rather than being sent directly to the landfill.

Greenest: Cloth—Recycled and/or Hemp, Linen or Organic Cotton
Buy used cloth napkins and dishtowels. You can find lovely and fun ones at second hand stores, at flea markets and on eBay. You can make your own dishtowels by cutting up old sheets, towels, etc., and hemming the edges (same goes for napkins). If you are buying new dishtowels or napkins, remember that conventional cotton is a notoriously nasty crop in terms of pesticides, so aim to use organic cotton. Alternatively, choose hemp or linen which are more sustainable than conventional cotton. Follow the tips below for the greenest use of your cloth napkins and dishtowels.

Paper Towel and Napkin Green Tips

* Purchase paper towels made of 100 percent recycled materials.
* Look for paper products that contain a minimum of 90 percent post-consumer waste.
* Choose unbleached paper towels. If those are unavailable, opt for process chlorine free (PCF) next, or elemental chlorine free (ECF) as a last choice.
* Choose paper towels and napkins that have no added pigments, inks or dyes (say goodbye to that floral printed border).
* Select packaging with minimal environmental impact, such as that made of recycled and recyclable materials; imprinted with safe inks; and containing no toxic metals, dyes or inks.
* Seek items having the largest amount of product to minimize packaging, for example, high-capacity hardwound roll towels have 800 feet or more. Some brands are puffier and allow for fewer paper towels per roll or napkins per package.
* Avoid folded paper towels, it is too easy to use too many of them.
* Look for paper towels that are wound on a 100 percent recycled core.

Cloth Napkin and Dishtowel Green Tips

* Only wash when soiled. Most adults don't really dirty a napkin after every meal.
* Designate a place to store "in-use" napkins and use the same one until it is dirty.
* If you have a large family, designate a napkin ring for each member to identify their napkin between meals.
* Toss dirty napkins and dish towels in with other laundry.
* Use eco-friendly laundry detergent.
* Wash with cold water and line dry when weather permits.

On My Hearth: Pinto Bean Salad with Avocado, Tomatoes, Red Onion, and Cilantro

That Kalyn has done it again! Now that "winter" is past here in the tropics..groan...and we are back to 70 degree weather, I find myself craving salads & cool foods. The one fits perfectly into my newly-adopted WW CORE healthier-eating plan! (notice, I did not say the "D" word). Thank you, Kalyn!

Pinto Bean Salad with Avocado, Tomatoes, Red Onion, and Cilantro
(Makes 4 side-dish servings, recipe created by Kalyn)

1 can pinto beans, rinse and drain very well
4-5 tsp. white balsamic vinegar or champagne vinegar
1 avocado, diced into pieces 1/2 inch square
2 tsp. fresh lime juice
1 cup chopped tomatoes (cherry tomatoes cut in half would be great too, but I had medium tomatoes which I cut in eighths)
1/2 cup finely chopped red onion
1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro
1-2 T olive oil, or a bit more
fresh ground black pepper and sea salt to taste

Pour beans into a colander placed in the sink and rinse well until no more foam appears. Let beans drain well for at least 15 minutes. Then blot beans dry with paper towel, place in plastic bowl, and toss with white balsamic vinegar. Let beans marinate in the vinegar while you prep other ingredients.

Cut avocado into 1/2 inch pieces and place in small bowl. Toss with lime juice. Chop tomatoes, or if using cherry tomatoes, cut in half.

Chop red onion and cilantro. (I like to chop with a chef's knife, but you could use a mini-chopper or food processor for this.) Mix onions and cilantro into marinating beans. Then use a large spoon to gently fold in avocado and tomato. Drizzle olive oil over salad and season to taste with fresh ground black pepper and sea salt, and gently toss again. Serve immediately, at room temperature.

Variations: I think other varieties of beans would also be tasty in this combination. Tonight I'm making the salad for my dad and stepmother, and I'm using black beans because my dad loves them.

A Real Woman?

Though I used to be a pretty big Oprah fan, I'm not anymore. I don't watch her show, I don't buy her magazine, I pretty much avoid her at all costs. While she used to a be a woman's woman, the girlfriend we all wanted to have, a rags-to-riches story we weren't even jealous of. (ok, maybe just a little.) But lately Ms. O has gotten just a bit, to use an old family expression, too big for her britches. (no pun intended, truly). Her magazine advertises items no "average" woman can afford, same with the "favorites" she touts on her big giveway shows. Though I admire her for the charitable work she's done and consider her a smart, ambitious woman, that's where the admiration stops.

So, yesterday I was flipping channels, looking for something to watch while I plowed through the mountain of laundry to be folded. There was Drew Barrymore on Oprah. Huh. I like Drew ok, and there was nothing else on, so I paused. Drew was telling us all about her volunteer work in Africa, helping to feed hungry children. Cool. I put down the remote and settled in. Good topic, might learn something and perhaps be able to help in my own small way. After a few minutes, though, the conversation switched to Drew's upcoming projects and before I knew it there were two women abandoning their serious, admirable charity work discussion only to become absolutely giddy & weepy, gushing over their Vogue magazine covers! Before my very eyes these two powerful, intelligent women turned into shallow giggly school girls. The conversation went something like this:

Drew: It's every little girl's dream to be on the cover of Vogue"
Oprah: "It's some kind of validation that you're a real woman."
Drew: "It is. Especially if you're someone who is so utterly yourself."

HUH? First off, as much as I appreciate beauty and fashion and have occasionally been known to purchase an issue of Vogue here and there, my life's dream has never been to don the cover of said magazine, or any other for that matter. While I put as much time into my appearance as any teenager I spent more time honing my writing skills in hopes of becoming a journalist and protesting the baby seal hunt in Canada! Frankly, I'd be appalled if any of my daughters made looking pretty their top goal in life behind, say, working on their brains and spirits! Each of my girls has been approached about modeling, as a matter of fact, and I wouldn't permit it. I'm terrified of the eating disorders, of the pressure to be thinner, prettier, never good enough. Shudder. (By the way, as much as I love pin-ups, I do so for the very curvy-ness of them; you'll never see me put up a pic of Kate Moss on this blog.)

Secondly, wasn't it Oprah who did that whole expose in her magazine about how much work goes into her making her look cover-ready, showing her bare skin & body to show us how "normal" she looks sans make-up? What happened to that, Oprah?

Frankly, I'm furious with the whole "women's magazine" industry. Between the photoshopping and airbrushing to make already-gorgeous women fit up to some ridiculous standard of perfection and the never-ending articles on diet & other "self-improvement," I am just sick to death of it. A few years ago I boycotted such magazines because I was tired of paying to feel worse about myself, felt that my money could be better spent on those publications which helped me to grow as a strong, healthy woman both in body & spirit. Frankly, I'd rather read Playboy because at least it's a well-known fact that the centerfolds aren't "real," we all know that a ton of touch-up is done between photo shoot and magazine rack. But who would think that good ol' trusty Redbook would do the same thing?! I'm frustrated and angry and am not going to give them any more of my hard-earned cash.

Anybody with me?

A Magical Weekend

Thanks so much to all of you for your anniversary wishes! Beren and I had a wonderful weekend filled with laughter, love, and lots of romantic moments. We sipped pink champagne and nibbled chocolate on a horse drawn carriage, got up to see the sunrise over the water, shopped and drank and dined to our heart's content! It was a magical time, one that won't be soon forgotten.




Here's me enjoying my favorite drink at a fun little martini bar


Beren's laughing because I did something slightly naughty just before taking this picture...wink...wink...