Corporate Wifey?

I'm playing the "corporate wife" for a couple of days, even thought I'm not exactly a wife and Beren is not actually a corporate big-wig. *grin* You see, his job sometimes requires a bit of traveling, just across the state, and I always manage to tag along. Even if we're just staying at a Hampton Inn in some podunk town, I am still in a hotel room, with My Man, alone. While he's at meetings and such, I enjoy long luxurious hours to myself reading, blogging, watching movies, lounging by the pool, using the hotel fitness center, etc. Sometimes I drop him off at his destination and take the car to go shopping or exploring, maybe get a pedicure as I did yesterday. It's heavenly!

The only real downside of the whole thing is the dining experience, or lack thereof. You all know how much I enjoy cooking and honestly am not a big fan of eating out. When I do, it's for a special occasion or out of necessity. For the most part, I prefer my own cooking! Even though I'm not gourmet or always fancy, I know what ingredients I'm putting on my table and into my mouth! When traveling, however, I'm obviously at the mercy or whatever restaurant we happen upon. Often this can be a wonderful thing as we've discovered some really great little treasures, but sometimes not so much.

Yesterday was a good example of both experiences. For lunch, I was determined to find a local restaurant, did not want the same old chains we have at home. After driving all over Naples, testing Beren's patience and running out of time, we finally found an adorable little place that was well worth the effort, Spanky's Speakeasy.



The decor was adorable, I was entertained just looking around at all of the antiques, posters, etc that adorn the walls. Everything was spotlessly clean including the ladies room, a biggie for me!





Being mostly-vegetarian, my meal choices were a bit limited. Other than salad, there wasn't much on the menu that didn't include meat. Though the salad bar looked great, I was in the mood for a sandwich so I settled for the tuna salad, asking them to make it into a wrap. No problem there but when I requested a substitution of fresh fruit for the potato chips I was told it would cost $2.00 extra! I'm not cheap but I thought that was a bit much so I declined. Beren had the rib special which came with steak fries, $8.00. He said that while they weren't the best ribs he'd ever had, they were good and the price and portion size was perfect for a weekday lunch. My sandwich was adequate, typical tuna salad, nothing special, but it was a generous size and I found myself taking half of it to go.



Overall, a good lunch time experience. I would like to see more health-conscious items on the menu but I understand that this is a deli-type place and not catering to the crunchy crowd. We peeked into the bar area on the way out, would love to come back for cocktail hour another day!

For dinner we visited our favorite Irish pub of all time, The Celtic Ray, were really looking forward to it since we hadn't been there in a couple of years. Imagine our dismay when we walked up to find this sign:



Uh-oh! Now what? Well, the doors were wide open with people inside so we decided to go in anyway. It turns out that the original owner, Kevin Doyle, had re-acquired his bar and it was supposed to officially re-open yet there was a glitch in the system which caused a delay. Not one to turn away friends/patrons, Kevin opened the doors and served beer, wine & chips for free, just requesting a small donation if you were so inclined. Beautiful! We shared a pint with Mr. Doyle and got the scoop on what had happened to him since we'd been gone, what a story!





Since dining at the Ray was not an option but we were still craving some Irish grub, Kevin lead us to the next best thing, a pub called the Ice House Pub. While we enjoyed the meal, the fish & chips were not quite as good as expected and the atmosphere was much too loud & busy so we headed back to the hotel for the night.



So, that's where I am now, lounging about in the room while Beren fulfills his work obligations. He'll be back by noon when we'll check out and head to lunch, stay tuned!

Mixed Signals

Since Beren and I started going to the Ormond house at least every other weekend, we've naturally been spending less time with friends. With everyone's busy schedule, working and taking care of our families, there simply isn't much time to socialize. When we're up north we have tons of alone time, even with his children visiting, so when we get home we are rested, fulfilled and looking to hang out with those who we love & cherish. Family dinners become oh-so-important, as does hanging out with good friends. And yet..I've noticed something happening, more & more often. Our friends say they miss us, say they want to get together, yet it never seems to happen. I've had several occasions where they have actually made plans with us and yet canceled at the last minute because they're tired, etc. Now, I completely understand, these things happen! I myself have had to cancel on a social engagement recently due to a sick child, and though I felt badly we all understand that kids come first! But when these things happen repeatedly one must look at oneself and one's relationships and evaluate. These friends who "miss" us so much, don't you think they'd make an extra effort to get together? And how about the ones who find themselves right down the block from us and yet don't bother to call or txt to invite us to join them? Or how about the half-hearted, "give me a call and let me know when we can get together" which puts the ball back in my court, or does it? I'm thinking if you really want to see me you'd call and directly ask me, "Hey, Rapunzel, I'd really like to see you. How about lunch next Tuesday?" When this happens again & again what am I to think? Eventually I have to believe that their actions speak louder than words and for whatever reason they simply don't want to make the time for us in their lives. That's all well and good, I just wish they'd come out and say so because frankly I'm getting mixed signals, don't know where I stand and frankly I don't do well with that. I'm a Leo. Warm, loving & loyal to a fault but eventually even I get tired of putting effort into something and not getting anything back. It's exhausting. I'd rather people just call it like it is. "Listen, we care about you but we simply 1) don't have time for your friendship or 2) you're a crappy friend and I don't like you anymore or 3) don't need you anymore now that you're not fulfilling some purpose in my life." Whatever the truth is, I'd just like to know because I can handle any of those reasons. What I can't handle is the not knowing. What I can't stand is inauthenticity. I've lost several friendships over the past couple of years, for various reasons, and though it pained me greatly it was done cleanly and honestly.

I just wish these so-called friends would do the same. Find time for our relationship, explain to me why you can't and we'll redefine it, or let it go. Because this "I miss you badly but can't bother to call you" crap is making me nuts. Frankly, I'd rather be alone. And since my friends are one of the few things keeping me from moving north full time, I'd rather know if that's not an obstacle anymore.

Daily OM
The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

It Takes Two

It Takes Two: A Novel by Patrizia Chen


My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I really wanted to like this book but instead found myself struggling through it at the halfway point, wanting to finish but happy that it wasn't much longer. While the sex scenes were certainly steamy and the dance descriptions interesting, I never really connected with any of the characters and found the story line to be predictable and unrealistic. I'm all for romance, but this one read more like a fairy tale for the middle aged set only in this story the handsome price arrived in a jet or Mercedes instead of the traditional white horse.

Overall, not a terrible read but one I wouldn't recommend.

Has anyone else read it and, if so, what did you think?

View all my reviews >>

A Reliable Wife

Just need to share my latest good read with you; my stepmom's book club has included me in their e-mail updates so that I may enjoy their monthly recommendations even if I can't attend their wine-and-laughter infused meetings!

This month they read A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrich. The cover had me instantly intrigued and then I was hooked by the first page! This novel is just not historical fiction, it's a steamy bodice-ripper, mystery, thrilled and just overall fantastic read! Just when I thought I had the characters figured out they did something to have me gasping with surprise.

Set in rural Wisconsin in 1907, during the mid-winter, this is the perfect winter afternoon, curl up on the couch with a cup of hot tea read! However, you should warn your lover ahead of time: you may find yourself grabbing him or her upstairs for an afternoon tryst! Yes, it is just that steamy! *swoon*

Haunted

I had a nightmare last night, one which was all too real because it had actually happened. My Mother died. In the dream she was in the hospital, recuperating from surgery. She knew she was very ill but was in good spirits, even when the doctors broke the news to her that she wasn't going to make it, that she needed to make a decision about how to proceed from here. My beautiful, strong mother chose to let go. She climbed into bed, said goodbye to all of us, chastised us not to cry, that she was done with her life and ready to move on. Then she smiled and passed away. Peacefully.

As sad as the dream was, the reality was so much worse. Yes, she was in the hospital recuperating from surgery, very weak. We thought she was going to come through ok, had been taken off the ventilator and was talking to us, joking about the fact that Beren was visiting her even though he abhors hospitals and will never step foot in one. Then something went wrong. Her heart started racing, the medical team stepped in, working to get her heart rate down and stabilized. She was panicked, begging for help. Realizing that our presence was exciting her more, we left her room, under the care of the professionals, my father at her side, promising to return once she was feeling better. The last words she said to me were, "Don't forget to come back." I never saw my mother awake again.

They put her back on a ventilator, heavily sedated, in a coma-like state. We gathered around her, still hopeful that just needed some more time to rest, that she would wake up and be strong enough to continue to fight the cancer that was ravaging her body. That illusion was shattered by the doctor who pulled us aside and told us it was time to let go. That in addition to everything else her poor body had been through, she had also suffered a heart attack. Her lungs were not able to breathe without the ventilator, that their only option was to do a tracheotomy and did we really want to put her through that? The cancer was spreading, unbeknownst to us, had now been found in her spine. We met with her oncologist who confirmed what the ER doctor had reported. We then met with a "end of life" specialist who strongly encouraged us to let her go.

At this point our whole family was there - all of my children, Beren and even my ex-husband who was there to support his daughters. We asked for time, we needed to discuss this. We trudged down to the chapel where we sat in the pews and listened to my father, tears in his eyes, tell us what he thought, and ask for our opinions. One by one we gave him the ok. Yes, we should let her go. No, it wasn't an easy decision by any means but at the time we felt it was the right thing to do.

They took her off the ventilator assured us they would keep her comfortable, that without the machine breathing for her she would not last much longer, maybe 8 to 12 hours. Beren and I ran home, gathered pillows and blankets, take-out food for all of us, and then we waited. My whole family camped on the cold hospital room floor, catching moments of sleep, taking turns holding my mother's hand, talking to her, comforting each other, believing that her fight would be over in a few hours. Yet it wasn't.

My mother lasted for 3 and a half more days. Long enough to transfer her to a Hospice room, long enough for my aunt and cousin to fly down from Ohio. Long enough for all of her close friends to visit, for us to gather all of the photo albums we owned and create a slideshow of her life so that everyone who entered the room could see her as she was, a vibrant, beautiful woman, so full of life and love. She stayed with us long enough for us to wonder...did we do the right thing? Maybe she'll come out of this, maybe we should reduce the pain meds and see if she wakes up, starts breathing on her own. After all, the medical staff was incredulous, couldn't believe she was still hanging on. "She's a very strong woman," they repeated time and time again. So, we wondered: without our intervention, would she have been strong enough to survive this? Was she alive because she wasn't ready to go? Were we preventing her from coming back?

The doubts, the uncertainties continued yet none of us had the nerve to voice them to each other. Maybe we knew in our minds that it was impossible to do anything different, that even if she came through this crisis she would never be the same. The cancer was going to take her one way or another, her days ahead would only be filled with more pain and suffering. We knew this intellectually, and yet...

To this day I am haunted by the possibility that maybe we didn't do the right thing. Tormented by the fact that my mother didn't get to make this decision for herself. Sickened by the thought that maybe she would have chosen differently, that maybe she was, is angry with me for "taking her life." I wonder sometimes if it was a selfish, not selfless, act that I did. Was it that I didn't want her to suffer any longer or was it about me? Was it that I couldn't take the pain anymore? Did I hurry along the inevitable because it was just too hard for me?

These are the thoughts that go through my mind, a year after her death. These are the things I pray about, in my own way, the conversations I have with her at the grave, asking for her understanding, begging for a sign from her that we did the right thing, that she is at peace, that she loves me and will see me again soon. That she forgives me for what I did to her. I never get that sign..or do I?

Is is possible that she is speaking to me through the dream I had last night? That she is happy, that we did the right thing and she is admonishing me to "stop with the guilt" as she used to say to me. I can only hope and believe that the haunting will eventually fade away, that someday I will come to terms with all of it and find my own peace of mind and heart.

Happy Valentines Day, Beren!

With All My Love,

Happiness Is...

I haven't been posting much lately, just really busy with work and going back & forth to the Ormond Beach house. Here's a few pics from the past couple of weeks and what I've been up to.

It actually got cold enough In Ormond to cause the trees to shed their leaves, something we never see in South Florida!



Martini Hour at Hyde Park, love the $4.00 Cosmos!



We met this group of Swiss tourists, had a blast hanging out with them at the Ocean Deck!



They told Beren that his last name is very common in Switzerland which was interesting because his grandfather did indeed trace his lineage all the way back to that country. I think I can see the resemblance here!



Kali & Kevin are up visiting this weekend, so nice to show them around town for the first time! We took them to Miltop Tavern where Kevin enjoyed a drink called Swamp Water. Ewww, I hope it tasted better than it looked!



In honor of Valentines Day, Beren bought me these lovely flowers; don't they look just perfect on the dining room table?



Kali & Kevin spent the afternoon baking cookies while I made cupcakes





Here we are heading out to the local country bar, Beren wants to take line dance lessons so he can keep up with the other cowboys, lol, but I'm not sure I'm quite up for that!



Back at home, Jackson hops up on my altar every morning, I think he's visiting Salem



I started a new kitchen experiment you can read more about it here on my other blog.



Hope you all are having a wonderful long weekend, Happy Valentine's Day!

Souper Sunday

Double posting this from my other blog, thought my readers over here might enjoy as well..


Let me tell you first thing: I do not care who wins the Super Bowl. In fact, I'm not even sure who's playing. I hate football and most other sports and the only reason I even know there's ever a game on is because My Man is a huge fan and therefore I am forced to become aware of such things. So, today while he is hooping and hollering in front of the flat screen, I'll be in the kitchen humming along to Andrea Bocelli on my i-pod, cheerfully tuning it out.

Ok, in spirit of complete honesty which I try to maintain on this blog, I must admit that I was once a cheerleader. Briefly. In middle school. And not a very good one. In fact, the only reason I made the squad was because not enough girls tried out so they had to let me on. Sad but true. But, here you go, proof of my momentary lapse of good judgment.



Can you pick out which one is me? Yep, bottom left, the one with the feathered "wings", a popular hairstyle in 1977. *groan* How embarrassing..let's move on, shall we?

Anyway, to keep the menfolk happy while they enjoy their favorite past time, I'll be cooking up some hearty manly chili for them, chock full of meat..or so they think. *wink* Instead I'll be using the recipe below as inspiration but making just one substitution: no carne in this chili! This won't be the first time I've pulled a fast one over on them, replacing the meat with soy products, and they have never complained. I guarantee that I'll be the winner in this little game, will no doubt be scoring a touchdown with my tasty offering! ..and the crowd goes wild as Rapunzel crosses the finish line...whoot! whoot!...

Please note: I am using the Mastercook recipe program to tally nutritional information then plugging those numbers into the online WW calculator to determine POINTS. While I believe it to be accurate, please feel free to do the math yourself in your own way.

This original recipe is from Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, copyright 1953, 1962.

Chili Con Carne

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1 1/2 cups kidney beans
1 large onion -- sliced
1 green pepper -- chopped
1 pound ground beef
1 pound canned tomatoes -- 8
8 ounces tomato sauce
1 tablespoon chili powder -- to 1-1/2 tablespoons
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 bay leaf
dash paprika
dash cayenne

Rinse beans; then add to 1-1/2 quarts cold water and let stand overnight. Add 1 teaspoon salt to beans and the soaking water; cover, and simmer until tender, about 1 hour. Drain, reserving the bean liquid.

Brown onion, green pepper, and meat in a little hot fat. Add beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili powder, salt, bay leaf, dash paprika and dash cayenne. Cover; simmer 1-1/2 hours, adding reserved bean liquid or water, if needed.

Serves 6.

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Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 430 Calories; 21g Fat (43.0% calories from fat); 25g Protein; 37g Carbohydrate; 14g Dietary Fiber; 64mg Cholesterol; 950mg Sodium. Appx 10 POINTS

NOTES : Or use two 1-pound cans (4 cups) red or kidney beans. Drain beans, add to meat mixture with tomatoes.

And here's my version but instead of using dry beans and soaking, etc. I'm using canned beans and my slow cooker for easier preparation. This way I can spend more time enjoying the game! HA!

I added a couple of optional POINTS/calories by topping the chili with low-fat sour cream and reduced fat shredded cheese, offered corn bread on the side and/or brown rice to pour the chili over.


Chili Con Carne Redux

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2 pounds red kidney beans, canned
1 large onion -- sliced
1 green pepper -- chopped
12 ounces morningstar Meal Starters Grillers Recipe Crumbles
1 pound canned tomatoes
8 ounces tomato sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 bay leaf
pinch cayenne
pinch paprika

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 173 Calories; 1g Fat (5.2% calories from fat); 10g Protein; 34g Carbohydrate; 12g Dietary Fiber; 0mg Cholesterol; 1410mg Sodium. Appx 3 POINTS

The Verdict: I definitely scored with this one, just look at those lower POINTS! I have no doubt that my team players will be tackling each other to reach the kitchen!

Have a Beauty-Full Day,

I Miss You, Mom

"Sam," my beautiful mother
September 23, 1940 - February 4, 2009

Thank you to my daughter Kali for making this beautiful slide show..