We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what's not working, in one's own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion—finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don't get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.
Complaining is a person's way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can't change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change—ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.
When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy—not our neighbor's house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.
After enjoying a yummy dinner at one of the only Italian restaurants I enjoy (yeah, I'm a food snob), Beren and I headed over to the west coast for a combination business/pleasure trip. The drive over was uneventful, got checked into our room by 10 pm at which point we opened a celebratory bottle of bubbly and had some cuddle time. This morning we sipped coffee and watched a gorgeous sunrise, appropriate as we feel that we have indeed started a new day, a new chapter in our lives together.
Today's plans are to work from the hotel room, hit the fitness center, then lunch in Naples before heading back home. In between I have a stack of books & magazines to dive into should I become bored.
Self-Indulgence is a wonderful thing, I intend to do much more of it in the future.
February 1, 2008
Indulge Yourself
Leo Daily Horoscope
You may feel a bit indulgent today and want to spend time enjoying yourself. Perhaps you feel the need for self-pampering and rejuvenation. You may also be attracted to the thought of indulging in sensuous pleasures. These desires could reveal a deeper need for a little tender loving care, especially if you've been feeling stressed or worn out lately. By setting aside time to honor yourself today, you can release stress and relax. You may want to make an appointment for a massage or spend time on a restorative physical activity like yoga. You could also focus on restoring your mind-set by spending time journaling and getting clear about your life. You may just want to rest by indulging in pleasant daydreaming.
Devoting loving attention to our own self-care can help recharge our batteries and restore our peace of mind. Many of us tend to believe that taking time to pamper ourselves is a selfish, frivolous activity. If we can learn to see our own self-care as part of being alive, we will begin to understand that taking time to pamper ourselves will prevent many problems. Not only will we feel more balanced and happy, but we will be better able to cope with stress. We become more productive in our work and more present in our relationships. Allowing yourself to indulge in restorative activities today will rejuvenate you and positively affect your life.
