Blue Monday

Beren walked in the door at 5:30 tonight to find me in my nightgown, pouring a glass of wine, laundry not done, bed not made, no dinner to speak of. Now, he couldn't care less about any of those things but he knows that it's uncharacteristic of me, and he's concerned. Perhaps with good reason. Oh, I'm ok, no need for alarm, just a bit down and in need of a night off. Mom's latest medical report, the call from the vet informing me of the return of Salem's ashes, ongoing financial difficulties, strained relationships with "stepchildren," slow times at work, etc., etc., all contributed to the gradual demise of my mood today. I'm trying to get excited about the holidays but can't help but wonder (goddess forgive me) if it'll be the last one where all of our family is intact. That puts the pressure on and brings a bittersweet feeling to the upcoming weeks and months. Should I do more, or less? Volunteer to decorate Mom's house in order to lift her spirits or simplify and focus on the people, not the hooopla. What to do? How to deal? I have no freakin' idea.

So, Beren heated up leftovers, hugged me and gently asked what's wrong..the waterworks started, more wine was poured, more cuddles given...it'll be ok, one way or another, I'll get through it. I just need a little time to rest, regroup, recover. Tomorrow I'll pick up Salem's ashes and figure out some way to pay the vet bill, call Mom and visit if she's up to it, go to work and earn whatever money I can, cook dinner, catch up on laundry, hold tight to my family and friends and live/laugh/love as best I can. Because, really, what other choice do I have?

Pssst....

Just a little heads up, my precious "Lily" has started her own blog! Take a peek if you're so inclined, she's such a great writer I promise you won't be disappointed.

Happiness Is...

*an evening of fabulous music and visiting with a dear friend. Benzaiten (aka Susan) has been producing this wonderful folk concert series, Labyrinth Cafe, at the local UU church for years now yet Saturday night was the first event I attended. Well, suffice it to say that it won't be my last! Beren and I took his girls to see this amazing band, Coyote Run, what a treat! As if the music wasn't enough, seeing sexy men in kilts..ooh-la-la! A heart-pounding evening indeed! *wink*



*celebrating Beren's daughter's 13th birthday, welcome to the teenage years! *groan*









*Sunday night al fresco dinner at Kali's house. I brought baked ziti from my freezer, roasted garlic bread and Parisienne salad (thank you Costco), Beren contributed a bottle of good whiskey as a hostess gift, Kali and Kevin provided the lovely backyard in which to dine. Kevin lit a fire, Kali brought out her beautiful Crate & Barrel dinnerware and cloth napkins, no disposables for this bunch! We drank and ate and laughed and chatted, watched the sun set on a lovely Autumn evening..a slight nip in the air...family all around..a perfect way to end the weekend!

On My Weekend Hearth: Tuna Casserole

Linda mentioned this recipe in a comment, so funny that I'd already whipped it up for Friday night's dinner! *smile* She's right, it's not the lowest-calorie recipe on the planet, but it was tasty!!


* Exported from MasterCook *

Tuna Noodle Casserole II

Recipe By :Chris Smith
Serving Size : 8 Preparation Time :0:10
Categories :

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 package uncooked pasta shells -- (16 ounce)
2 cans tuna -- (6 ounce) drained
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup -- (10.75 ounce)
1 can condensed cream of celery soup -- (10.75 ounce)
1 1/4 cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon crushed garlic
4 slices processed American cheese
1 1/2 cups crushed potato chips

Boil pasta in lightly salted water for 10 minutes, or until al dente; drain well. Return the pasta to the pot it was cooked in.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Spray a 2 1/2 quart casserole dish with cooking spray.

Mix tuna with cream of mushroom soup, cream of celery soup, milk, salt, black pepper, and garlic in a medium saucepan. Place pan over medium low heat, and heat through. Alternatively, place these ingredients in a microwave safe dish, and warm in the microwave.

Mix tuna mixture with pasta. Spread 1/2 of the noodles into the prepared dish. Arrange the cheese slices over the noodles, then spread the remaining noodle mixture over the cheese. Top with crushed potato chips.

Bake, uncovered, for 20 to 30 minutes; cook until the casserole is hot, and the chips begin to brown. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving.

Description:
""Pasta combined with tuna, mushroom and celery soups; layered with American cheese, topped with crushed potato chips and baked until bubbly and slightly browned.""
Source:
"http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tuna-Noodle-Casserole-II-2/Detail.aspx?prop31=1"
Start to Finish Time:
"0:01"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 436 Calories; 30g Fat (62.4% calories from fat); 26g Protein; 15g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 79mg Cholesterol; 1741mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1/2 Grain(Starch); 3 Lean Meat; 1/2 Vegetable; 0 Non-Fat Milk; 4 1/2 Fat.


Nutr. Assoc. : 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

On My Hearth: Newlywed Hamburger Casserole

Ok, so I'm far from being a newlywed..grin...but this dish is totally in Beren's honor! The man loves..ahem...fried, fatty food and I try so hard to encourage healthy eating. But now & then I give in and make him some stick-to-your-ribs midwestern casserole like my Mama used to make! This one is actually very close to a recipe my Aunt gave my Mom years ago, a nice hearty meal that'll put a smile on my meat lovin' man's face!

Now, to make this a bit healthier and veggie friendly, I'm going to split the recipe in two, making half of it with veggie crumbles in lieu of beef. I'm also using the 99% fat free condensed soups; yeah, it's still chock full of convenience food but it's ok now & then, right? Since I have nearly everything on hand it's also going to be a nice it's-almost-payday thrifty meal as well.


* Exported from MasterCook *

"Newlywed" Hamburger Casserole with French Fried Onions

Recipe By :BamaKathy
Serving Size : 4 Preparation Time :0:15
Categories : Beef Casseroles

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 lb ground chuck
1 medium onion -- diced
1 medium bell pepper -- diced
1 jar sliced mushrooms -- (4 ounce) drained
1 can cream of mushroom soup -- (10 3/4 ounce)
1 can French-fried onions -- (3 ounce)
1 bag egg noodles -- (8 ounce) cooked and drained
salt and pepper

In skillet, saute meat, onion, and bell pepper until vegetables are tender and meat is browned. Drain.

Combine with noodles, salt, pepper, mushrooms and mushroom soup in 2 quart casserole.

Cover and bake 25 minutes at 350 degrees.

Remove from oven, uncover, and pour french fried onions over top.

Return to oven, uncovered for five minutes.


Source:
"http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/print?id=104653"
Start to Finish Time:
"0:45"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 391 Calories; 26g Fat (61.4% calories from fat); 23g Protein; 14g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 95mg Cholesterol; 340mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1/2 Grain(Starch); 3 Lean Meat; 1 Vegetable; 3 1/2 Fat.

NOTES : A friend gave me this recipe as a newlywed. Through the last thirty years, it has become a favorite of our family, our new son-in-laws, and our friends. It sounds simple, but is so tasty!

On My Hearth: Penne Pasta with Spinach & Bacon

I'll be serving the bacon on the side to make this dish vegetarian-friendly. I changed the serving size from the original recipe, my revision allows for a 3/4 cup of pasta, just the right amount for me when supplemented with a big green salad!


* Exported from MasterCook *

Penne Pasta with Spinach and Bacon

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 8 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories :

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
12 ounces penne pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil -- divided
6 slices bacon -- chopped
2 tablespoons minced garlic
14 1/2 ounces diced tomatoes
1 bunch fresh spinach -- rinsed and torn into bite-size pieces



Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add the penne pasta, and cook until tender, 8 to 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Place bacon in the skillet, and cook until browned and crisp. Add garlic, and cook for about 1 minute. Stir in the tomatoes, and cook until heated through.

Place the spinach into a colander, and drain the hot pasta over it so it is wilted. Transfer to a large serving bowl, and toss with the remaining olive oil, and the bacon and tomato mixture.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 230 Calories; 7g Fat (25.8% calories from fat); 8g Protein; 35g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 4mg Cholesterol; 87mg Sodium. Exchanges: 2 Grain(Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 1/2 Vegetable; 1 Fat.

As American as "Cherry" Pie

Needing to distract myself and keep my mind busy, and inspired by Election Day and the whole Americana thing, I spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen this afternoon. (After I voted, of course!)

We rarely eat pork at the Castle but I got some boneless chops as part of an introductory package at Omaha Steaks and didn't want them to go to waste. Since potatoes were BOGO at the grocery store, I made a slowcooker version of this recipe, adding a bit of shredded cheddar to the mix. While that was simmering I whipped up a loaf of bread and a homemade cherry pie.

Mmm...everything smells heavenly! I'm looking forward to sitting down with a glass of wine after dinner and watching the results come in.

Update on Mom

Mom went to the doctor today to receive results from her recent PET Scan. Though the tumors in her lungs have decreased, the news wasn't all good: there appears to be "activity" in a bone in her back which would explain her recent back pain. The next step is an MRI and radiation, then another round of chemo using different drugs.

Not a very good day here at the Castle, your continued thoughts and prayers are most appreciated.

Halloween Fun

We had such a good time last night, just have to share the pics!


Lily headed to work, isn't she the cutest kitty?

We started out at Kali's house so that she could do Beren's make-up, looks like she'd been pretty busy turning herself into a "hula zombie!" *shudder*




Do wolves eat pizza?


Why, Mr. Wolfie, what big...hands...you have!

We then headed out to meet our friends who were married, in full costume, at the courthouse yesterday! What a hoot! They had a small dinner at a local restaurant and then we moved on to the bar where we continued to celebrate into the wee hours!


The Newlyweds, Fester and Wednesday


Guarding the Beer


A Two-Fisted Drinkin' Wolf

A wonderful evening but this little witch is ever-so-tired today! And tonight we have other fun plans but more about that later. First, a teeny little nap....

Death to the Old Me

My friend Jersey and I often talk about how Autumn is a fresh start, always feels more like New Year to us than Jan 1 ever has. Of course, being a Pagan this makes perfect sense to me as it truly is the Witches New Year.

A year of beauty. A year of plenty.
A year of planting. A year of harvest.
A year of forests. A year of healing.
A year of vision. A year of passion.
A year of rebirth.

This year may we renew the earth.
This year may we renew the earth.

Let it begin with each step we take.
And let it begin with each change we make.
And let it begin with each chain we break.
And let it begin every time we awake.

--Chant from the
Reclaiming Samhain Celebration

This year that feeling is even more true as I am seriously ready to make some changes in my life, in myself, allow to die the old me that no longer works anymore and reveal the new person who's under there ready to be born!

2007 brought many changes to, 2008 even more. Some good, some not so much, but I must say that I've handled it all much better than I ever thought I could. I have learned my own strength and I'm proud of myself! Unfortunately the way I dealt with stress was to eat more than healthy and the result is a 20+ pound weight gain, but that's ok because I'm on the right track now and determined to get rid of it once and for all.

I said it on my birthday and I mean it even more so now at the season of Samhain - This is my Year. In addition to focusing on my Mom and her health, my family and partner, I've got to take care of ME as well. And that doesn't mean by self-soothing with junk food and beer; it's by exercise, good food and a healthy attitude. I can do anything I put my mind to, have proven that already.