On My Hearth: White Bean and Tomato Salad

Beren and I are going to pack a little picnic lunch, it's much too beautiful to be indoors today! He'll likely be eating fried chicken (groan) but my contribution will be considerably healthier!

I'll pair this salad with some fresh fruit, bit of cheese and crackers and an indulgent glass of chardonnay. It's a day for celebrating, after all!

White Bean and Tomato Salad

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 12 min
Cooking Time: 0 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

To store fresh sage, wrap it in a paper towel, seal in a plastic bag and refrigerate for up to four days.

Ingredients
15 3/4 oz canned great Northern beans, rinsed and drained
3 cup(s) tomato(es), seeded and chopped
3 tbsp celery, chopped
2 tbsp scallion(s), sliced
1 tbsp olive oil, extra-virgin
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp fresh sage, chopped
1/4 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper

Instructions

* Combine all ingredients in a bowl; toss gently. Garnish with sage, if desired. Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 cup).

Happy Anniversary, Beren!

It's been 5 (officially) wild & wonderful years, not counting the one we spent together back in the day, or the 22 we were apart. Before you came along, I asked the Universe for Romance and Passion and damned if I didn't get it!

Here's to many more years of the same..I love you.

On My Hearth: Spicy Cowgirl Soup

It's tax season again, and that means longer hours for me at work and less energy to prepare meals. So, I'm dragging out my slowcooker once again and throwing together this easy, tasty bean soup. It's supposed to get chilly here again tonight so this recipe will be perfect!

I'm adding some veggie crumbles for more protein, serving the chiles on the side because my family doesn't enjoy quite as much spice as I do, a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of cheddar cheese will also cool it off a bit!

Since this recipe consists of mostly canned items, I'll serve a big fresh salad on the side and maybe some corn bread to round out the meal.

Spicy Cowgirl Soup

1 (15 ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes, or diced tomatoes with green chilies
1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth
1 (11 ounce) can Mexicorn, drained
2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chilies
4 green onions, thinly sliced
3 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

In a slow cooker, combine all ingredients. Cover and cook on high for 4-5 hours or until heated through. Add a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of shredded cheddar if desired.

A New Day

After the funeral, when all of the guests had left Dad's house, when the dishes were done, leftovers put away, flowers arranged, kids settled in at home..I packed an overnight bag and climbed into Beren's car. I pulled a blanket around me and fell fast asleep for about an hour, waking up just before arriving at our destination. We checked into a gorgeous hotel, ate a quiet dinner, toasted Mom with her favorite drink and then climbed into bed. I was asleep by 9:30, totally worn out from the past days & weeks of impossible decisions, constant fear & worry and, eventually, overwhelming sadness.

I awoke this morning to the sound of the waves crashing on the sand, breeze whipping through the palm trees, fresh coffee and leftover Italian cookies for breakfast. My friend Jersey told me to awaken slowly today, that it was likely to be a rough morning, so I followed her advice. I kissed Beren goodbye as he headed off to his meeting, grabbed my phone and proceeded to do what I've done every single morning for as long as I can remember: Call My Mother. Of course she didn't answer, of course Dad picked up the phone and we shared a stilted brief conversation about his plans for the day, and mine. No gossip, no chit chat, no girlfriend-like giggles, no Mom. So I called my daughters. And Jersey called me. And I emailed several friends, logged onto Facebook, took a nap, puttered. Made the best of the alone time, allowed myself to cry without worrying about what others would think. Looked at her pictures. Missed Her. Talked to Her. Poured a glass of wine despite the fact that it's barely noon. Let the sadness wash over me some more.



And now, I'm going to put on my brightest pink dress, make-up and the best smile I can muster. Go downstairs, treat myself to a fabulous lunch, a walk on the beach and a fresh new magazine. In a few hours Beren will pick me up and we'll head home at which point I'll need to figure out what to do from here, how to live my life without my mother. Nothing will ever again be the same, my life is forever changed, but no matter what happens the sun keeps shining, the tides keep moving, we wake up each morning, Goddess willing, to greet a New Day. I intend to make the most of it, each and every one. After all, it's what she would have wanted.

Rest in Peace, My Beautiful Mother

Phyllis "Sam"
September 23, 1940 - February 4, 2009

Mom

Poking my head in to give an update on Mom and ask once again for healing thoughts/prayers/energy.

Last Saturday my Mother was admitted the hospital with a perforated colon, perhaps resulting from the chemo and radiation but we don't know for sure. The infection was so bad at that point, she was filled with fluid, the doctors advised us that she would only live for 3 days unless they did emergency surgery. Unfortunately in her weakened state there was a very high mortality rate with the surgery as well, so we had a decision to make: sit back and watch her die or take a risk and possibly lose her anyway. Well, as you might imagine, we took the chance, there simply was no other option.

Nearly a week later she is still in ICU but in stable condition though still on a ventilator and highly sedated. We have no idea how long the recovery will be or what the future holds, we are just trying to live each day and deal with the situations as they present itself.

Words can't begin to describe the hell my family has been through this past week, indeed the past 7 months since she was diagnosed with lung cancer. No one should have to endure this, absolutely no one.

All I can say is please, hold fast to your family and friends, give them extra hugs, let go of the stupid stuff we argue about. Just love them as best you know how each and every day because we truly do not know how long we'll have them in our lives.

Hiatus

After some soulsearching and much deliberation, I've decided to take a little hiatus from blogging. I have done this before and it's proven to be a good thing, I just need to focus on other areas of my life for a while, pursue other ventures, creative and otherwise. I'm not sure for how long, maybe indefinitely.

I'd love to keep in touch with all of you while I'm gone so please feel free to e-mail me.

Thank you, and Blessed Be..

Happiness Is...a Fabulous Holiday Weekend

Beren and I enjoyed a typical mid-January weekend in South Florida, taking advantage of the cool temperatures we rarely experience here. After coffee and conversation on the patio at home, we headed to the beach for a pizza & beer lunch..



proceeded to walk down the beach checking out all the vendors, picked up a birthday gift for a dear friend whose big day is approaching..then to a new-to-us beachfront organic market I'd been wanting to check out. Spending time with these gorgeous fruits & veggies inspired me to get back into the kitchen, and also to return to my mostly-vegetarian diet, but more about that later..



Has anyone eaten this vegetable before? It was so cool-looking, I had to have it!



Look at the size of those carrots!



I gathered up all the greens I could possibly hold..



and my adorable packmule toted the box home for me...



We then stopped at our favorite Sunday afternoon haunt, hung out with our biker friends while listening to live music and watching the "show." It's never a dull time with this crowd!


(Yes, that is a cockatoo!)

Thanks to MLK Day, the weekend's not over; we are now headed south to Homestead to visit a popular berry farm...stay tuned for more!

Secret Two: Honoring Your Inspirations

In the second chapter of 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, we are encouraged to look at what inspires our creativity, pay special attention to what we love, who we really are.

I really enjoyed reading the examples of other artist's creative processes, what encourages, inspires and delights them, but I found it difficult to answer that question for myself. At this point I'm not even sure where I want my own creative journey to end, much less what tools I need to get there! Do I still want to write or is there something else out there calling me?

One part of the chapter that really stuck out for me was about Inventing Creative Rituals. Ah, now we're talking! I love schedules, plans, organization...it makes me feel as if there is some order and control in an otherwise chaotic life. Implementing a Creative Ritual for myself, that is where I think I need to begin, that is the starting point for me. I love this quote from Chris Madden:

"I can't sit down and write or start on a new project nless my closets and my life are organized...in order to let go and create, I need to have organization around me. When I come back from being away, as I did this morning, the first thing I had to do was clean out the refrigerator and bake something wonderful. I think it's about reclaiming my space"

Yes, yes, yes! I know exactly how she feels! Perhaps this is the reason I've been so driven lately to get my house in order, tearing through closets, washing everything in sight, making my way to the bottom of the ironing basket, completing long-overdue projects - I need to clear a place for myself, for my creativity, I need to reclaim my space! Remember on my birthday when I set up a craft area for myself in the guest room? I was preparing for this moment! I haven't used it yet, but it's there, waiting for the moment when I'm ready to begin!

This is so exciting to me, to understand that even if I didn't consciously realize it, I was making room for myself all along. My soul knew what I needed, what I was craving, I just needed to listen.

For the next week I'm going to continue paying close attention to what sparks me, what makes me feel alive, brings me joy, opens my heart and mind. I'm going to work on a daily ritual to honor those things and help bring them more to light. This morning my inspiration comes from the view outside my patio, my favorite color all around me, fresh cup of coffee in my little chicken mug, cool breeze bringing the scent of lavender from my herb garden, birds singing, the softness of my new floral robe wrapped around my body..little things that delight me. Life is filled with such sweet, precious moments, we only need to stop and pay attention.

Tested by the Universe

The Goddess must have a wicked sense of humor because two days after I put my phrase-of-the-year out there I was tested. Not just silly little day to day life tests, either - oh, no, this was a big-bad-ass-in-your-face-whatcha-gonna-do-about-it-challenge involving two police officers, my middle daughter and the crazy ex-boyfriend of my eldest. All of them emotional, all of them angry, one of them to the point of near hysteria.

Without going into too much boring detail, suffice it to say that it was not a Good Night for any of us. However, Lily is safe and that's all that counts. The only decision I need to make now is whether or not to pursue this matter further or to Let it Go. I could take legal action against the persons responsible for causing the drama and hope that they receive some sort of punishment, but would that really accomplish anything? I fear that in doing so I'll open another can of worms, possibly bigger and uglier than what we're dealing with now.

So for the moment I'm going to write down the incident in detail as my friend Jersey suggested, encourage Lily to do the same, and put it safely away in a file. Away from my sight, away from the Peace I'm creating in 2009, far far away from the Beauty and Joy and Love that fills my Life, my Home. There is no room for anger here, not anymore. I'm going to sit, breathe and pray for us and for the other people involved and instead of sending hatred and anger toward them, I'm simply going to hope and wish that they, too, find Peace and Understanding and that they make better choices in the future.

For Now, I'm just going to Let it Go.

What do you think about that, Universe? Did I pass your test? I'm thinking I just might have earned an "A."