
Rest in Peace, lovely lady. You will never be forgotten.







"Don't take it personally." How often have we all heard that phrase? Whenever I discuss it with my friend Jersey she is incredulous, "But it IS personal, how can I not take it that way?" Exactly.
So, yesterday when I learned that Beren's ex is going out of town over the holidays, sans her children, we naturally assumed that they'd come here with us. Imagining that they might be feeling a bit sad that they wouldn't be spending Christmas with their Mom, we decided to send an e-mail and let them know that they were very much wanted here at our home, to please let us know what they would like to do. Honestly, we know they'd rather be with their Mom but surely we're a next-best-thing! Right?
The reply came this morning, short and cryptic and ever-so-polite. "We'll discuss it, don't know where we want to be but we will let you know" was the gist of it. Wow. Ouch.
Though I understand the dynamics of blended families/divorce well from every aspect, though I have raised teenagers of my own and am well aware of their emotional mood swings, I still feel hurt and, yes, rejected. I mean, why wouldn't anyone want to be here with us, with our family? We're wonderful! People leave their own families to gather around our table, to eat and drink and laugh with us! We make everyone feel welcome and loved here! Christmas is especially fun as we bake and decorate and do crafts, all kinds of great stuff. And yet, I get the distinct feeling that these two young ladies would rather be elsewhere and they are scrambling right now to find other options. I don't judge them, of course, they are entitled to their own feelings and desires but still...it hurts...
So, yes, I'm going to take it personally. It is Personal. It's about ME, my Home, my Family. There's no other way to take it, and it is especially wrenching because I have done my damnest to make them feel welcome here, to embrace them and include them in everything, feel that they truly are part of my family. And yet, apparently they don't think so, and that just breaks my heart.
In addition to all of this, I'm also dealing with the absence of my oldest friend, one I've known since we were in middle school. She's the one who's been here for me no matter what happens, through thick and thin. We haven't seen each other in years, though, even though she lives a city away. We've discussed it, promised to do better about keeping in touch, etc. etc. And yet, we haven't spoken in months, since right after Mom was diagnosed. I get an occasional email telling me she's ever-so-busy..etc..etc...aren't we all? I don't give up, though, sent her another note on Monday, hoping we could reconnect before the holidays. The response: Ever so busy, will try to do better. She didn't even inquire about Mom. So, how am I supposed to take this? Personally? You betcha.
Off to take Mom to radiation now, then to work, hope to find a better mood and attitude before the day is over..
My path to work takes me by one of the few open pieces of land in My Town, one of the remaining cow pastures left in an area that was once used primarily for dairy farming. Yesterday as I sat at the stoplight I glanced over and admired the cows grazing in the field, little calves frolicking with each other..smiling when I saw one cow turn to the other and give her a big lick across her face, nuzzling and cuddling. Awww!!! It was such a sweet scene and suddenly I was hit with a huge thought: NO more red meat for me! I'm done with steaks & burgers, filets & frankfurters!
Now, this is not a huge shock to those who know me well; after all, I was a "mostly-vegetarian" for 10 years, surviving quite nicely on veggies, beans, etc. and the occasional bit of seafood. My reasons were less about health and more about animals, I just didn't want to eat living things. I went back to my carnivorous ways about 5 years ago, though, can't really remember the reason but I believe it had something to do with major lifestyle changes, the diet I was on, etc. Anyway, whatever the cause, I didn't feel badly about the course of action and I'm not going to get on my soapbox now but the thing is..I can live without red meat quite easily. I rarely crave it, know that it's not good for me and since there are so many substitutes out there now I really won't miss the stuff. *shrug* As far as poultry, well, I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to that yet but I may get there again someday. For now, I'm going to become a cow-hugger and rely on other forms of protein.
Now, you'd think I'd have eaten enough turkey last week but, alas, it seems that after I passed out doggie bags to a couple of folks we were only left with enough white meat to make one or two measly sandwiches! Not nearly enough so I popped over to Kalyn's Kitchen and found instructions for making turkey breast in the crockpot. Hurrah! It's simmering right now, am sure that it's going to taste as fabulous as it smells! Now I just need to avoid that one lone piece of pumpkin pie in the refrigerator, just calling my name...groan...
To continue my family's Green Christmas experiment this year, Kali posted the following blog/invite, I'll be posting pics of the big event later this evening!
There's a reason your mom still hangs on to that picture frame made of painted macaroni.
Offset your consumer footprint by creating and recycling. Save some cash by DIY. Enjoy a guilt-free escape from spending the day in crowded stores. Learn a new skill and enjoy the company of fellow artists, crafters, subersives, poor folks and agoraphobics. There is no end to the list of reasons you should show up either Friday or Sunday or both to the BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND CRAFTING SPREE!
Friday's party will be held at K's house in the City. Sunday's party will be held at M's house in the Suburbs. On both days, materials will be made available for ceramics, drawing/painting/collage, resin casting, screen printing and button making. Sunday there will also be power tools for any of your woodworking project needs.
Please bring some craft supplies and/or party supplies (food/drink) as a contribution.
Also feel free to bring all your craft stuff, bring whatever you're working on, bring something you want to demo, bring stuff you want to get rid of, bring anything that's sitting around your house!


