Just for Fun: High School Spirit Meme

To lighten things up a bit on this dreary Tuesday afternoon, I'm tagging myself on this fun little High School Spirit Meme my friend Grace posted at her blog.

1. Who was your best friend? I had two of them: Lisa S and Lisa G.

2. Did you play any sports? No.

3. What kind of car did you drive? 1974 Ford Maverick, painted chocolate brown

4. It’s Friday night. Where were you? working or out with friends

5. Were you a party animal? I wasn't big on parties

6. Were you considered a flirt? Every chance I got ;-)

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir? No

8. Were you a nerd? Not sure, I wasn't in the smart kid crowd but I was in Newspaper which was sort've geeky

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled? Never

10. Can you sing the fight song? No

11. Who was your favorite teacher? My English Teacher, but for the life of me I can't remember her name!

12. What was your school mascot? Mustangs

13. Did you go to the Prom? Yes

14. If you could go back, would you? No way *shudder*

15. What do you remember most about graduation? taking pictures afterward, that's it

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? don't remember, not sure if I skipped!

17. Did you have a job your senior year? Yes I worked full time at Service Merchandise, went to school in the a.m. and worked from 1 pm to 9 pm. I ran the computer system for the store!

18. Where did you go most often for lunch? home

19. Have you gained weight since then? sadly, about 50 pounds

20. What did you do after graduation? out to dinner with my parents and my boyfriend who later became my husband

21. What year did you graduate? 1982

22. Who was your Senior Prom Date? The man who later became my husband

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion? Nope, and none of the others since then. Anyone I wanted to see from high school I am still in contact with.

Sobering Experience

As I touched on before, we got a call late Sunday afternoon, Beren's Grandma was not doing well, they flew in his uncle and cousin from Ohio, did not expect her to live much longer. We hopped in the car and headed to Sebring.

What we found was not what we expected; Grandma looked no worse than she did earlier in the week when he saw her, perhaps just more frail because she isn't eating very much. Other than a hip injury, there is nothing life-threatening at this point, nor does she suffer from Alzheimers, etc. that would cause her death. She was still coherant, communicative, engaged...not what you'd expect from a woman who was supposedly on death's doorstep. She remembered me, whom she'd met only once, and she responded properly to questions Beren asked her. Though she was supposedly refusing to eat, within minutes Beren had her sipping soup and promising to eat her breakfast this morning. She may be tired, and at 94 years old she's allowed to be! But dying n the next couple of days? I don't think so. She is, however, angry and upset and wants to get out of the center where has been placed. Well, who could blame her? Despite the fact that this place appears to be a good one, nurses and aides are very caring and attentive, it is not a home. She's not in her own bed, her own house, with her things, her creature comforts. I am trying hard not to judge here, because I am not in their situation, do not have to make those decisions about my own parents and hope I never do. However, there is something terribly, terribly wrong with a society that allows it's elders to be treated this way. She is lying in a bed alone; at best a family member visits her for an hour a day. There are no flowers, no cards, no music, not even a tv. She is lying there waiting to die. And, honestly, one gets the feeling that for some family members, it just can't happen soon enough. That's the brutal truth, much as it sickens me to say it. She has overstayed her welcome here on this earth, she is simply too much trouble now, and there is collective foot tapping from folks impatiently waiting for her to move on.

I came home sad and anxious, could not help but think of myself in that situation. I can only hope that I have enough money to die in my own home, to afford whatever care necessary to make that happen.

I hope to God that I never live longer than people care about me.

Today's Inspiration

I don't want to write a whole lot about this right now, but my horoscope and today's Daily OM really hit home for me. Good stuff to ponder.

Daily Om
July 30, 2007

Wanting To Join
Dumbing Ourselves Down

The ability to go into any social situation and sense the level of consciousness in that situation is a gift. It enables us to move considerately in a world that holds people of all levels of awareness. However, there is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people and dumbing ourselves down to a regrettable degree. Sometimes, when we get into a particular social situation, we may feel pressure to play it small in order to fit in. Perhaps everyone is drinking or smoking excessively, engaging in gossipy small talk, or complaining bitterly about politics. It is one thing to notice this and modify our expectations and another thing entirely to join in.

When we notice where people are coming from and acknowledge to ourselves that their energy is not in alignment with ours, we have several choices as to how to proceed. One viable option is to quietly endure the situation, keeping to ourselves until it is time to leave. In this way, we take care of our own consciousness and protect our growth process. Another option is to interact in a way that honors and pays respect to the people in the group, while gently attempting to shift the level of consciousness with our input. In order to do this, we must maintain our own vibration, which means that joining in by dumbing down is not an option.

When we choose to dumb ourselves down to fit in, we not only sell ourselves short but we also lose a possible opportunity to influence the situation for the good of all concerned. Our desire to join in may come from our natural yearning to feel connected to the people around us. There is no shame in this, but being able to stand on our own, separate from the crowd, is a powerful milestone on any spiritual path. It can be difficult in the moment, but when we arrive on the other side, our integrity intact, we may find ourselves feeling positively smart.

Sad News...

Beren's grandma is in bad shape, probably only has a few more days on this earth. We are heading to Sebring to see her right now, hopefully he will get to spend a bit of time with her before she passes. Please send good thoughts/energy/prayers that she goes peacefully if that is what the God/Goddess wants for her. She says she has already spoken to God and that she is ready to go, I only hope that she finds comfort in the afterlife and that her travel there is peaceful.

Just Ducky

Since Beren and Mike got the other two red adirondack chairs put together, I figured it was time to take some more backyard pics! The landscaping is still not 100% complete and we still need to buy tables, but it's good enough for now. Besides, the red cooler is a decent stand-in. I'm so excited by the progress, it's on the way to becoming the tropical paradise of my dreams!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

What a fun-filled weekend we've had so far! Candye Thursday night, Bad Idea Friday night (love those guys!), then a birthday party with Excess last night! (We got there so late, because we got a just a little bit lost. Why oh why are men so opposed to asking for directions?) Of course there was also the Friday night visit with My Mermaid, wish I could've seen her Medusa side dancing last night but we just couldn't make it to either show. Next time I will be there with bells on.



(Above is me with my lovely Princess friend, Cinderella. She's so much fun to be with, just love her voluptuous self!)

Whew! I am tired but have had a wonderful weekend so far. Friends keep asking me how I keep up with these late nights, out & about as much as Beren and I are. Well, I guess because I spent my 20's and 30's raising babies, I'm ready to party now in my 40's! I have the perfect mix of work/play/family right now, am just living life to the fullest while I'm young enough to do so. I can't remember the last weekend that we didn't go out to see a band, we really are so lucky to have great live music right at our doorstep. And, yeah, it's pretty cool to know the bandmembers as well. (I'm such a groupie!)

Yesterday we just hung out at the pool all day long, today looks to be the same. Beren and Mike are going to grill some chicken and I'm planning a nice long float in the pool. Ahh...some beauty rest is definitely in order for this partying princess!

I Want Candye!

We had such a wonderful time last night! Candye was everything that I'd imagined, and then some. She just opens her mouth and the most amazing voice comes out, it appears effortless!
The blues club was fantastic, too - red & animal print & pin-ups, who could ask for anything more? (I threatened Beren to decorate my whole house like that, he just smiles and shakes his head.)



I wish I could re-live the whole thing over again, but alas, all I have is her autographed cd to comfort me. *sigh* Until next time, Candye, just til next time....

Pampered from My Head to My Toes...

and everything in between! *wink* It's amazing what a pedicure and some good lovin' will do to a girl's spirit! I pampered myself with a pedicure yesterday, was lounging on the patio sipping wine and admiring my own toes when Beren walked in the door. I was so happy to see him, you'd think he'd been gone a week! We went out for a little while, had a couple of drinks and watched our friend play acoustic guitar at a local bar, then came home and took a little dip in the pool. The rest of the evening ended as nicely as it began, and I woke up with a huge smile on my face.

Today I completed the pampering by having my fingernails done, car cleaned & gassed up, am all ready to take Bettie to meet Candye! I'm so excited, like a kid in a Candye store. Ha!

Now Showing in the Kingdom: Candye Kane!

Finally, tonight I get to see the fabulous Ms. Candye Kane!! Ever since the horrible hurricane season of '05 destroyed my last chance to see her, I have been waiting for her to return to My Town and finally here she is! Whoo-hoo!

Wish you all could be here with me, if by chance you find yourself in The Kingdom, join me! Just look for the corset-wearing brunette guzzling chardonnay, pressed up against the stage singing Work What You Got at the top of her lungs...yep, that'll be me. (Silke, I know how much you love Candye! You'll definitely be with me there in spirit..or hop on a plane, you'll be here in plenty of time. *wink*)





P.S.Sorry I couldn't find a better video of her, but Youtube didn't have any good ones so this is the best I could do.

Self-Acceptance

Ya'll are just going to have to bear with me for the next few days (weeks?) as I process some feelings and deal with these issues. Again, I'm sorry if I'm a bit of a downer, I'll try to snap out of this but it does help to write it all out, and to get other perspectives.

Ok, so last night I was venting to a good friend, telling her how I was lonely, restless, etc., all the stuff I write here. Knowing me as well as she does, she listened and nodded and then asked me, But WHY are you like that? I don't know, something snapped in me and I got angry..not at her per se, but at the question. I replied that after 16 years of off & on therapy, endless self-help books, spiritual guidance..blah..blah..blah...I probably know why I am a certain way, but I hadn't changed every part of me and damn it! I am not going to! I am nearly 43 years old and it's unlikely that the very core parts of me are going to take major turnarounds. This is who I am, and you know what? Despite the imperfections, I am ok! I'm a good person, a good friend, loving mom and partner, work hard, play hard, care for my family & friends and the community. Isn't that good enough? Sure, I'd like to be a thinner, wiser, better citizen..etc..etc..but I am not going to spend another penny on therapy or another moment making myself sick over this stuff. I've never been one to hide behind a towel at the beach or wear big clothes to camoflauge my size, and I don't hide my personality anymore either. Maybe I'm too much, too loud, too excited, too theatrical..I've been called all of those things..but that's part of my charm, part of what makes me ME! And that is certainly freakin' good enough! MORE than enough as a matter of fact.

Today I was sharing some of this with Kali and I told her this: I am 43 years old, I have spent countless years trying to be a good girl, do the right thing, work on myself, blah..blah..blah...at this point, F**K the self-improvement! I'm done with all of that, now I just want to have some fun and enjoy whatever life has to offer! Enough of the self-improvement, how about some self-acceptance?! Kali listened and got quiet and I got nervous and then she said the most wonderful words you could ever hear from your child: I am so proud of you. What more could I possibly want? I love you, Kali.